Welcome!

Welcome me, welcome you! Athough I am not sure I have much to say, that anyone wants to listen to that is, I thought it might be fun to start a blog and archive my thoughts, pictures, writings, and attempted recipes and crafts! So, this is more of an area for me to be ME and to explore, vent and get creative. Enjoy, I plan to!

Friday, August 28, 2015

Looking back...

Wow! It was a year ago I posted the below. we've been through so much in that year, lots of ups and downs! Great memories we have made and struggles we would like to forget. 

God brought us this far and we are so thankful. 

There are some heavy duty things going on here and we continue to need your love and prayers. 

Our hearts are full and our hearts are aching!




Friday, August 21, 2015

Six years ago today...

Wow, time flies!! It was six years ago today I became leadership in the Emergency Department! A dream come true!! 

I was ER supervisor for 2 years and their Nurse Manager for 4! I think I still win the longevity prize for that position. They had 3 in my 4 years before leadership, and they've had 2 Nurse Managers since (I left 2 years ago)!  😀 It was a tough job, but I loved it. I grew so much there and had fantastic mentors. 

But as the family came along and school got tougher: finishing my MSN and having my Doctorate looming, I knew I had to make a choice. I prayed, I cried, and I chose wisely! 😇

Yup, sometimes I miss the adrenaline...and have almost an instinctive desire to chase down ambulances! 🚑 but God sure knew what He was doing when He paved the way for this new ADVENTURE!!



Tuesday, August 18, 2015

We are equipped...for the race!

I wasn't sure whether to sigh in relief, cry big tears full of mixed emotions, phone a friend for moral support, or jump for joy that he is going to get help and allow myself to relax a little...so I did all of it! 

Thanks to a FABULOUS Social Worker who didn't take no for an answer, and an amazing team that stood firm in their advocacy for us, we have been transferred on to the next stage in the process of getting help!

So tonight, after 11 days in the children's hospital, we left knowing we would not be there tomorrow.  It was an odd feeling: freeing yet scary because he'll be so far away. 

Our house feels strange too, as we are still less one, but the chaos feelings of the past weeks of trying to keep it all together are lessening already.  It's surreal. It feels good to know he's safe, we're safe...and we have a couple days to breathe.

Tomorrow we do life...work, laundry, dishes, clean, and maybe even cook a meal?! 

But one thing we don't stop doing is advocating for and loving a kiddo who needs us more than his actions tell us...we may question why we've been chosen for this, but we don't question that we have been chosen for this...and therefore, as He is already equipping us, and we will run the race. 




Monday, August 17, 2015

Not so energized bunny...

I swing from being grateful to feeling pissed, and from peaceful understanding to frustration! I think I'm just tired...

Trying to let go and trust. 


Sunday, August 16, 2015

GRUMPOPATOMUS

I am officially a GRUMPOPATOMUS!!! I'm sick and tired if spending my days in the hospital, annoyed with being on call when there are no-shows, frustrated to depend on people to help with the other kiddo so he doesn't have to hang out at the hospital, pissed with insurance companies, sick of over-priced gross hospital food, sick of unreliable people, agencies, ombudsmans, and just over all feeling frustrated with life! 

With that being said, I feel guilty! So, I made myself think of at least 10 things I'm thankful for! Because we do have so much to be thankful for and I need to keep things in perspective!! 

My thankful list: it goes without saying that I am thankful that we have great doctors, nurses, social workers, nurse techs, safety attendants, and more! So, I'm not allowing myself to count that as one of the ten! 

1) We have dogs that love on us the minute we walk through the door! They love us so much they leave us stinky treats to show us their displeasure at being left alone for so many hours 😁 (okay, so that was a grump too so I owe myself two extra things to be thankful for!)

2) Thankful we don't typically eat this much hospital food.

3) Thankful for our health, we see others daily who aren't as fortunate.

4) Thankful for the dedicated professionals we interact with each day! They all wish they had a magic wand...anyone know where we can get one for them???

5) I'm thankful for ice tea and coffee!

6) I'm thankful for sooooo many prayers. Despite my griping today, it really humbles and lifts me up. I know without a doubt those prayers are why we are being heard and getting help.

7) Skipbo

8) I'm thankful for technology it is allowing me to FaceTime with mom, teach this kiddo Tai Chi, and keeping up with FB and a game here and there helps fight the boredom...not to mention shopping on Amazin and Zulily...really please don't mention it...at least not to the husband!! 😀😁😆😉

9) Raspberries being on sale for $1 a pack! 

10) A car with air conditioning!

11) The Beave

12) That the cafeteria suddenly sells Satellite Wafers!! Reliving a fond childhood memory!! 

Wow, I am feeling better already!! I am well on my way to being a REFORMED GRUMPOPATOMUS!!!

Sunday, August 9, 2015

She's Got Wings

Lately, for some reason, a lot of sayings involving feather/wings have come across my path.  It has made me stop and think.

I was reminded of the blog post I once wrote with a similar title to this one: You've Got Wings

Psalms 91:4 and Isaiah 40:31
“He covers us with his feathers…” 

“But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint” Isaiah 40:31
Reminders to me that amongst ALL that He is...He is loving, He is protective, He offers refuge, He gives us peace, He renews our strength!

I saw a saying: “With Brave Wings She Flies” I thought, this is me!  Then I thought, while I love that saying...I am not so sure I have had BRAVE wings.  The recent weeks have been quite crazy and overwhelming time, I don’t quite always feel brave…infact, I have felt shaken to my core. I feel these wings I have are thin and delicate, timid even. Yet, when I stop and think about how much we have been through and the hurdles we have overcome, I realize the wings are brave.  However, it is not on my own bravery, but that of Christ in me and it is through the support of love and prayer of other who when I am weak intercede for me with The Father.
In His strength and on the prayers of others, I don’t just fly, I can also SOAR!

Here's my Heart, Lord take and seal it!

One of my favorite hymns from my childhood speaks to me today.


Come Thou Fount

Come, Thou Fount of every blessing,
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it,
Mount of Thy redeeming love.

Sorrowing I shall be in spirit,
Till released from flesh and sin,
Yet from what I do inherit,
Here Thy praises I’ll begin;
Here I raise my Ebenezer;
Here by Thy great help I’ve come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.

Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood;
How His kindness yet pursues me
Mortal tongue can never tell,
Clothed in flesh, till death shall loose me
I cannot proclaim it well.

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

O that day when freed from sinning,
I shall see Thy lovely face;
Clothed then in blood washed linen
How I’ll sing Thy sovereign grace;
Come, my Lord, no longer tarry,
Take my ransomed soul away;
Send thine angels now to carry
Me to realms of endless day.

Thursday, August 6, 2015

We never imagined

I never imagined this would be my life!

Driving to the Crisis Center, again. 
Following a police car, again. 

They know us here, we joke that there should be a punch card reward system. It's not really even funny, minutes ago we were punching bags

I never imagined it would be this hard, this hurtful, this painful, this violent, this destructive, this exhausting, this heart wrenching. 

I want to hate him, I know it's the frustration speaking and I feel guilty for even thinking it. I keep praying that the Lord will continue to give me a renewed love for him.

He did not ask to be broken. 

He never imagined this would be his life either! 

Lord please send healing.

💙💔💙