Folks have been asking about what happened to the "other boy,"
but did not want to ask. I have to admit, I'd heard it for a while before I decided to share...it's been so tough all around that it felt too heavy to type out. But truth is we need "our village" to know. We need your prayers for D, for our family, and for us as a couple.
D is still in a facility a couple hours away getting the help he needs to eventually be safe in our home/community. We see him twice a month and the visits are typically quite positive. We do a family therapy session and then visit for a few hours. Sometimes we get to leave campus with him but most of the time behaviors dictate that it's best to stay there.
The facility has decided that they are not able to keep him there anymore due to an increase in behaviors. So, his caseworker is working on moving him. Thankfully, they have allowed us to continue to be very involved.
Today there was a Supreme Court Foster Care Review Board hearing. We learned of it less than 24 hours before it took place, so there was some scrambling to get our ducks in a row but we are so glad we made it. We needed to fiercely advocate for him. Sometimes it's hard when you steps on toes or speak out against what's taking place, but it's the right thing and it's what he needs us to do for him! These people, especially, need to hear the truth of what is taking place and what SHOULD be taking place! We've have learned a lot through this and have found the voice he needs us to have for him! Anyway, it went well, very well actually!
It's overwhelming because right now there are just no great answers and things are so up in the air.... Where does he go? How do we reach him? How do we get the right help he needs when the system is so dysfunctional?? I wish I had the time or energy to describe some of the craziness taking place...
At the end, we were spent. They could see it... then one of the Reviewers told us how he'd been in the back of the court room last time we were there for a hearing. Another Reviewer piped in, "this is verbatim, he took notes!" He recounted how the judge had spoken to D and asked him if there was anything he wanted to say and how D said, "I just want everyone to know I love my Mom and Dad and my brother and I want to get better so I can go home to live with them and our dogs."
"He turned to you", said the reviewer said, "he was talking to you, you are, in his eyes, already his parents. Keep doing what you are doing, you're doing great!"
We cried.
After the hearing I took out my phone, like proud momma and showed them pictures of D, Our Boy, not just a case file. They crowded around and enjoyed each picture!
So, for those who wonder...he is still in our lives...and we are still fighting for him!
Pray he gets into a local facility, there is one in particular we have hopes for, pray he get in there!! Otherwise we are likely looking at placement out of state. Thank you, friends!!
The hardest part of visits...the good-byes...this was especially hard because at this visit we told him about A's adoption finalization...he knew it was going to happen, but hearing it was tough for him...for all of us. Not a pretty ride home...but that is a whole other blog post!
