Red heart vs Dark heart

Red heart vs Dark heart

One of the boys was having a lot of testing Monday. One thing was an ultrasound (US). 

While the tech was performing the US "the child" kept asking if she could see his heart. She quickly showed him; we saw a dark blob with chambers pumping away, and then she got back to business. 

He was quiet for a little while then asked to see it again. 

"Can you do my heart? What color is my heart? Is it red? Is my heart red?" 

The tech said, yup see, it's right there showing him again. See the blood flowing? 

Child: But is it red?? 

Tech: yup

Child: but is it really red?

Tech: it's kind of a pink color. 

We started catching on that there was some anxiety about the color. And of course an US is in black and white. He was confused and getting anxious. So she turned on the color so he could see the blood flow to and front the heart, red and blue. "See there, red!" 

Child: (quietly to himself) phew, it's red, I'm a good guy. Then he looked again to be sure. 

Me: Yes, look at that, it's really red, you have a very good heart, I knew it! And I squeezed his shoulder to reassure him, he still looked dubious and off in his own world for a few minutes while he thought it through. 

B and I sat there in awe of his thought process. Can you imagine wondering if your heart were good or bad? Scared that maybe you are not a "good guy?" That maybe you aren't worth loving or keeping! Man, somedays this parenting stuff is heavy!