40th Open House

My husband threw an open house for my 40th birthday! It was fun! My favorite color is pink and though it's a bit cliche we did pink and black!! ;) he bought long stem pink roses and placed them in wine bottles throughout the house. (Above is a pic from after the party when he gathered some of them together). 

We had wine, fruit, cheese, olives, and fabulously delicious cupcakes made by my amazing friend and her husband (raspberry filled with champagne frosting, chocolate raspberry with chocolate ganache, and to humor me, funfetti with funfetti frosting and roses)!

Best of all I was surrounded by family and friends, making the night very special!! 

We made party favors with my favorite candles from Wealthy at Charles and a Pay-it-Forward card! What could be better a better 40th present than having others being a light of love and peace in the world!! 

Forty....hhhrumph!!!!

Despite having taken the day off to mourn the loss of my youth, I promptly awoke at 6am.  

As I laid there trying to deny the reality of the number 40, I decided I best test things out, muscles, bones, tendons, check! Five senses intact, check! Six sense, pain…pinch….yup intact, check! 

Next up cognition:   I pondered….well, can I still say I am in my thirties or phrase it so it does sound forty? Nope, I cannot: cognitive functioning intact, check. 

So let the cognitive reframing begin:  I am indeed I am forty and I need to just embrace it….or maybe I can fall back to sleep and embrace it in a few hours!?!?!?!

Thanking God for all He has done in and through me over the past forty years!!! I truly am VERY blessed!!!

Grieving the loss of Brynlee May

Shortly after I wrote my last blog post, my little Brynlee May went to heaven. We are grieving. In our grief we are comforted by thoughtful gestures and kind words from family and friends and millions of warm memories of our little cutie pie!! We can't help but think of how she would be trying to lick our tears away. 

                        

As nurses we learn to deal with grief and the grieving.  Everyone experiences grief and loss differently. Each individual should be granted the grace to grieve however they need to...and so on. 

I have seen throughout my nursing career various forms of grief and really believe the former to be true. 

Today it was evident that this same grace be extended to pets. We have been cleaning up Bryn's dishes, then her blankets and sweaters, and today her bed. 

Geree, my pitbull boy, saw me pick it up and followed me out if the room and kept nudging me. Finally, I placed it in the floor. He sniffed it then climbed on and sat down. He just sat there...  

When he got up, I put the bed back...it doesn't need to go today ...

                             

If you are grieving the loss of a pet here are some resources: 

http://coldnosesbook.com

http://www.cesarsway.com/dog-care/senior-dog/coping-with-a-dogs-death

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/grieving_pets.htm

http://m.humanesociety.org/animals/resources/tips/coping_with_pet_death.html#.UsmedH-9KK0

http://www.pet-loss.net

http://rainbowsbridge.com/grief_support_center/grief_support_home.htm

Thoughtful gifts such as these as well as donations in Brynlee's honor to Pets for Vets (http://pets-for-vets.com) have spoken to our hearts! 

     

My little Brynlee May Pootie!

My dearest Brynlee May Pootie,

 

I am so gateful that God gave you to me almost eight years ago!  You have enriched my life from the moment we picked you up!  You were so cute and quiet and such a good girl.  You loved rides and getting in the back pack and tagging along wherever we went.

 

You’ve been to camp and the campers loved you and you loved sitting on the camper's laps and cruising in their wheelchairs.  You’ve been camping, stayed quietly in hotels, (even though no pets allowed) and you have flown in an airplane more times than most people.  You have tasted and dipped your feet into the ocean and enjoyed running down the beach.  You have been in the camp parade and the 4th of July parade, everyone thought you were adorable and you loved the attention.

 

You have even been on an adventure of your own taking off to go to the Zoo!! I am so grateful to the people who found you waltzing along on your own thinking you were invincible!  I am so glad we had that chip in you even though I was a wreck when I saw the needle and almost backed out. We were looking for you everywhere and that call from the ER vet was joyful, knowing you were safe!!  They wanted to see if you knew us when we came to get you...You did not disappoint - running to us and wiggling all over - kisses and hugs!!

 

Although we always paid for the “good” food with no fillers, your favorite things to eat were french fries and ice cream, always perking up and jumping over to the window when you sensed a McDonalds drive through coming.

 

You have beat the odds my sweet girl, you taught yourself to walk again, do stairs and even almost run...but it’s more like a sideways trot and I love it! As I look through my photo albums of the last few years you are on almost every page along side of us from one adventure to the other.  No wonder I am having trouble grasping this loss I am about to face.  

 

You know me so well, you sense my sorrow and I try to be brave and you gently lick my tears away. I love how soft your head is and how it smells when I kiss it!

 

They said 3 day, 3 weeks...it’s been eight months!  God has given me the extra time I prayed for with you! I love how determined you are I love how you rule the roost!  Your sisters and brother will miss you too - they seem to already know and are being as gentle as possible with you.  

 

I love you, I love you, I love you, your snorts, snoring, barking in the night for water, walks in the stroller, incessant licking, and boundless affection....and I will miss you dearly.  Run to St Francis my friend, I think he knows you will be coming soon!

 

All my love and an extra kiss on your soft little head, Momma

 

 

Thankful!

Being without power in an ice storm helps you remember to be thankful! 

The tale of two treasures!

Treasure number one:

We took a day trip to Detroit for some adoption meetings. While there of course we see an Estate Sale sign and we just had to go! The people had beautiful things, but the things that caught our eyes were in the garage and weren't even marked with a price! They seemed surprised we wanted it and we got it for a steal!! When the guy heard it was going in our house vs where they had, in the garage, he was really surprised, but I love it!! Meet my new tea cupboard!

I love the old hardware on the door!

I think she's thirsty for some delicious tea!!

Treasure number two:

Last month, my husband told me of some things he saw in the neighbor's trash. Being new to the neighborhood and a little Leary, I said an emphatic, "No, we are not picking stuff out of the neighbors trash." Well, curiosity got the best of me and I went to the window to look. What a saw was a potential treasure!! I quickly went to find my husband, he laughed at me for changing my mind and said he would help me get it as soon as he finished what he was doing...5minutes...10minutes...seemed like and eternity as I kept glancing out to ensure it was still there! I had already decided where it was going and didn't want someone else to come along and grab it up (hoping no one else would see the beauty in it I did!). The we was ready to go.....the thrill of the find was greater than my temporary embarrassment as we looked over the piece and then hurried it across the street to our house! 

The dogs gathered round to check our our find too! 

The drawers hold my circuit supplies and the cabinet part holds all my paper! Fun...and best of all FREE!!

We Are Expecting!!!!

It is official!!  We are all approved and ready to adopt!  It is bittersweet as I think about this…I am so excited to be on this journey toward becoming a family with the children God is preparing for us.  However, in the preparation is pain.  They are going through a loss that I will never quite understand - even in my fervor of excitement and anticipation, my heart aches for these children who will soon call me mom.  I already want to earn their trust, to protect them, and love them! YIKES, "Mom" so much responsibility it is really starting to seem real.

Friends, can you pray for us as a family - that the Lord prepares our hearts for each other.  Pray that the Lord grants Beaver and I the wisdom, love, courage, and grace we need to parent these gifts the Lord is bringing into our lives!

Someone, I am sure without even thinking, asked me why I did not want kids of my own.  Let me be clear, these will be my own…our own! Beaver and I chose adoption over conception long ago, these will be our "real" kids. 

We understand there are questions that you have, please feel free to ask and share in our excitement - We Are Expecting and we are so excited to share this journey with you! Thank you for sharing in the journey and for being excited for/with us!

We also want to explain the next steps. Once children are identified as a potential match for us, the kids social worker will get our file if she agrees we would be a good match for the kids then and our social worker will get the kids file.  We will review and decided if we should proceed, if yes, we sign an intent to adopt…a contract to adopt these children even without meeting them.  To some, this sounds scary, but parents who conceive never get to choose or meet their child first either. Plus it shows commitment so that people are meeting the kids and then they never see them again. They have already had enough loss.

Then the visits start! The visit increase as we go start with an hour or so visit until overnighters then weekends etc…it is about a three month process and could mean trips all over the State. This process will be our priority over the next few months. We will be careful as we plan ahead but we ask for your understanding if we need to make changes to or cancel plans or are not as available as we typically might be!

Coveting your love, encouragement, and prayers…it takes a village, my friends, it takes a village!! 

XO, ht