He Specializes in Hannah

Last night, I kept replaying a devotional I had given.

Did I explain it well enough?

Did I make the point clearly?

Did I ramble?

Did I get to what I was trying to say?

Did it take a turn I didn’t intend?

Did people feel I was lecturing them?

Apparently it bothered me more than I realized, because I woke up in the middle of the night still thinking about it.

And somewhere in all that overthinking, I had this very convicting, middle-of-the-night realization…

Hannah, why are you making this about you?

Oof.

The devotional wasn’t mine to begin with.

The message wasn’t mine.

And the outcome certainly wasn’t mine.

Somewhere along the way, I had started taking responsibility for something that was never mine to control. As though God’s ability to use something depended on my ability to deliver it perfectly.

So I prayed.

I asked Him to forgive me for making it about me, and I gave the whole thing back to Him.

The words I said well.

The words I stumbled over.

The things I wish I had said differently.

All of it.

Because here’s the thing:

God specializes in Hannah.

He is very familiar with my messes, my awkward words, my overthinking, my good intentions, and my imperfect attempts to serve Him.

None of that surprises Him.

And He is completely capable of taking whatever I place in His hands and using it for His glory.

Maybe someone heard exactly what they needed.

Maybe one sentence mattered.

Maybe something I thought I completely botched is the very thing God will use.

And maybe I’ll never know.

That’s okay too.

My job is obedience.

The outcome belongs to Him.

I don’t have to be impressive.

I don’t have to be perfect.

I just have to be willing to hand Him what I have and trust that He knows what to do with it.

And He does.

Last night, I kept replaying a devotional I had given.

Did I explain it well enough?

Did I make the point clearly?

Did I ramble?

Did I get to what I was trying to say?

Did it take a turn I didn’t intend?

Did people feel I was lecturing them?

Apparently it bothered me more than I realized, because I woke up in the middle of the night still thinking about it.

And somewhere in all that overthinking, I had this very convicting, middle-of-the-night realization…

Hannah, why are you making this about you?

Oof.

The devotional wasn’t mine to begin with.

The message wasn’t mine.

And the outcome certainly wasn’t mine.

Somewhere along the way, I had started taking responsibility for something that was never mine to control. As though God’s ability to use something depended on my ability to deliver it perfectly.

So I prayed.

I asked Him to forgive me for making it about me, and I gave the whole thing back to Him.

The words I said well.

The words I stumbled over.

The things I wish I had said differently.

All of it.

Because here’s the thing:

God specializes in Hannah.

He is very familiar with my messes, my awkward words, my overthinking, my good intentions, and my imperfect attempts to serve Him.

None of that surprises Him.

And He is completely capable of taking whatever I place in His hands and using it for His glory.

Maybe someone heard exactly what they needed.

Maybe one sentence mattered.

Maybe something I thought I completely botched is the very thing God will use.

And maybe I’ll never know.

That’s okay too.

My job is obedience.

The outcome belongs to Him.

I don’t have to be impressive.

I don’t have to be perfect.

I just have to be willing to hand Him what I have and trust that He knows what to do with it.

And He does.