I Grudgingly Hold Your Hand….a love song!

(((Click the picture to be taken the song on YouTube.)))

It’s our anniversary 💛

I wrote lyrics and had this song made for Beaver as a gift, it tells our story in a fun catchy way!

i was trying to wait for May 3rd but he was having a hard day … and let’s be honest, I am terrible at waiting to give presents… so he got it early.

Here is a little background so it makes more sense when you listen…

 

We met in the Dean’s office in college. He was in trouble for not wearing a belt and being late for chapel, and I was the student secretary. Somehow, we started hanging out all the time, and he thought we were dating…I did not.

 

The “blue drinks” line is about blue-raspberry slurpies, we would run to Sheetz gas station to get them all the time... I thought he just really liked slurpies… turns out he just really liked me.

 

The rest of the song touches on a lot of our life, foster care, adoption, a really hard season, then our move, his health, the hurricane/flood where we literally had to carry the dogs out and try to save what we could and our friends show up for us, meals, clothes, toothpaste, deodorant, a ride…etc…

It’s a little bit of everything....chaos, faith, laughter, and just choosing each other through it all.

 

Anyway… it means a lot to us, and it was fun to create, so I wanted to share it with you....

Here are the lyrics:

[Verse 1]

It started in an office, someone was in trouble

A girl behind the desk trying not to laugh

Who knew that moment was the spark

That lit a fire nothing could put out

Two worlds apart, Michigan to New York

Truly madly deeply, you already felt like home

[Chorus]

We’re a little crazy, a little wild

We drive each other nuts, but we smile

Through the storms and the grace

Every beautiful, broken place

Love chose us and we chose it back

Faith held us steady when life felt heavy

[Verse 2]

Blue drinks and laughter, you thought we were together

I didn’t get the memo but you kept on calling

And somewhere down the line, I finally said “I do”

We opened up our doors and opened up our hearts

And only bent when we thought we’d break

[Chorus]

We’re a little crazy, a little wild

We drive each other nuts, but we smile

Through the storms and the grace

Every beautiful, broken place

Love chose us and we chose it back

Faith held us steady when life felt heavy

[Bridge]

You faced the fight and you’re still fighting

God’s steady hand is still guiding

Beaver, together we carried what mattered most

Our village showed up when the waters rose

[Verse 3]

You cheer me on through every dream and season

You support my hobbies, no matter what I start

We traded big for tiny by the sea

Beaver, this messy life is where I want to be

A house of laughter, animals, and prayer

You take my hand when we argue… I grudgingly leave it there

[Chorus]

We’re a little crazy, a little wild

We drive each other nuts, but we smile

Through the storms and the grace

Every beautiful, broken place

Beaver, love chose us and we chose it back

Faith held us steady when life felt heavy

[Outro]

We didn’t start out perfect but we stayed

Beaver, I’d choose you every single day

Let the Engine Cool

 This morning I had a lot on my mind.

• Work responsibilities.  
• School assignments.  
• Health concerns in our family.  
• Messages, emails, decisions… and the steady stream of information that seems to come at us all day long.

You know the feeling. Your brain starts to feel like twenty browser tabs are open at once.

Ironically, in the middle of all that mental overload, my car decided to add a little drama to the day.

A warning light started blinking on the dashboard telling me the coolant level was low. Nothing catastrophic, but enough that I needed to pull over and deal with it. I ended up stopping at Buc-ee’s to let the engine cool down before checking things under the hood.

While I was sitting there waiting, a friend sent me a message.

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”  

—Matthew 11:28

The message added a simple thought:

The best way to break free from information overload is to refocus our thoughts on Him.

And it hit me right in the moment.

I had been thinking about everything I needed to do, everything I hadn’t finished yet, and everything still coming my way. My mind was racing… just like an engine that has been running hard for too long.

And there I was, literally sitting in a parking lot waiting for my car to cool down.

It made me laugh a little, because the analogy was too perfect to ignore.

When an engine gets too hot, you don’t keep pushing it harder.  

• You stop.  
• You pause.  
• You give it time to cool down.

Our minds and hearts need that same rhythm.

When life starts piling on—responsibilities, decisions, noise, information—it’s easy to keep pushing forward, trying to handle everything ourselves. But Jesus offers a different invitation.

Come to Me.

Not when everything is finished.  

Not when we’ve figured everything out.

Just… come.

Refocusing on Christ shifts our attention away from the swirl of everything happening around us and brings us back to the One who carries what we cannot.

It’s not just spiritual advice. It’s a reset, a pause.

A moment to let the engine cool down.

After a little time, I checked the coolant, topped it off, and got back on the road.

But I carried the reminder with me.

Sometimes the most productive thing we can do is stop long enough to remember where our rest actually comes from.

And if you happen to find yourself sitting in a Buc-ee’s parking lot waiting for your engine to cool down… maybe that pause is exactly what your soul needed too.

Red Lights, Yellow Lights, and the God Who Stays

In 2015, I wrote a short post called Yes, No, Wait: He Answers EVERY Prayer.

I believed it then.

I believe it now.

But life has a way of taking your theology off the page and putting it into your bloodstream.

Back then, I compared prayer to a stoplight.

Sometimes God says Green — and we rejoice.

Sometimes He says Red — and we don’t understand.

Sometimes He says Yellow — and we wait longer than we want to.

Green feels easy to call “answered prayer.”

Clear scan.

Good report.

Open door.

But what about when the diagnosis still comes?

When the door closes?

When the outcome isn’t what we asked for?

Is that unanswered?

I don’t think so.

In the garden, Jesus prayed:

“If it is possible, let this cup pass from Me… yet not as I will, but as You will.”

 Matthew 26:39

The cup did not pass.

But the Father did not leave.

That’s the part we sometimes miss.

The answer was not escape.

The answer was presence.

The answer was strength to walk through.

Psalm 23 doesn’t promise we avoid valleys.

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me.” 

Psalms 23:4

Through.

Not around.

Not exempt.

Through.

Maybe “answered prayer” isn’t always about outcomes.

Maybe sometimes it’s about accompaniment.

Sometimes the light is green and we celebrate.

Sometimes it’s red and we grieve.

Sometimes it’s yellow and we grow.

But in every color — He stays.

And here’s something else I’ve learned since 2015:

Trust doesn’t mean we aren’t afraid.

Trust doesn’t mean we don’t wish the light would change.

Trust means we keep moving forward — praying boldly, loving deeply, and doing what we can while leaving the rest in God’s hands.

Proverbs says:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart… and He will direct your paths.” 

 Proverbs 3:5–6

Directed paths imply motion.

We don’t sit frozen at the intersection.

We move when we can.

We wait when we must.

We stop when He says stop.

But we never walk alone.

His ways are higher.

He can be trusted.

He answers every prayer.

Even the ones that hurt.