FLU or NOT the FLU

Nurse Hannah's PSA!!!

Nausea, vomiting, diarrhea = Gastroenteritis 

Gastroenteritis is often, inaccurately, referred to as "i have the flu" or "the stomach flu" but is totally unrelated to Influenza. Concern: dehydration, be sure to take in fluids...water is best but drink whatever you can tolerate. OTC meds may help too. 

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High fevers, body aches, sore throat, runny nose, headache, cough, muscle aches, fatigue = Influenza or "The Flu." 

The concern of ACTUAL influenza is the it can lead to respiratory complications  and/or exacerbate other comorbidities such as Heart Failure. 

********************************************

Regardless of which you have or what you call it don't pass it along, please! 

Sick? Stay home, wash hands, mask up, cover your cough. 

Want to lessen chances of getting sick? Wash your hands and Get a FLU shot! 

********************************************

Proper hand washing:  Wash them often, use soap and water, and wash for at least 20 seconds. We have the boys sing the "Happy Birthday" song twice, it takes about 20 seconds (when they don't rush through it just to humor me!). 

When you can't get to a sink, use an alcohol based hand sanitizer (60% ETOH is best as it breaks down the proteins in the bacteria). Be sure to use enough so your hands are completely wet. Rub for VIGOROUSLY for 15 seconds...remember friction kills germs! 

Lovingly, Nurse Hannah! 🤒😷😴😳😚

XO

2016: Bring on the Organization...or at least the beeping!

So, I'm sure you would not have guessed this (lol) but I lose stuff! All. The. Time. Hey, life is crazy!

So, this year the resolution is to get more organized and stop wasting time looking for things like my work badge, cell phone, keys etc...

I think we are preparing to fail the organizational part because my hubby has put in place a back up plan, RFID tracking and the "Find My Phone" app!

Yay!!!! At least I'll keep one reality on this year...as long as I don't lose the remote...!!!!

Christmas 2015

Kind of a different type of family Christmas than we anticipated when we started this journey. But as always, our God is good and we thank Him for the opportunity to be together today, even if just for a short time. 

We start our day at home, puppy kisses, and presents under the tree. No time to chill, we got ready to go...not quite the kick back relaxing day we would plan, but we have a visit today and we are all excited! 

(Pig pile on daddy!) 

Side note: we do four gifts: a want, a need, a wear, and a read. Plus the stocking presents and a family gift. This wasn't a big hit last year, until it happened and then they were okay with it. This year it was known, accepted, and even appreciated! Such a great break from the crazy materialism we see around us...no judgement really, it's just not our style. We want/need to teach that the gift giving...or more precisely, getting, is a small part and not the focus of the day.

At the Chinese restaurant, our 2nd annual tradition, they were perplexed again that there were only three (we eat there too much!) which was again a sad recognition of not quite being all together. 

After lunch, with much excitement, we headed out of town for a visit! Yay!!! 

We were there, happy greetings! Altogether again, at last!! 

Presents, pictures, candy, games, puzzles, laughter, tears, and snuggles...over too soon. 

Time flew...Goodbye, see you soon...the heart wrenching parting. Then seeing kids that had no visitors or family for Christmas, was a tough pill to swallow. 

Although this is hard, we recognize that we have much for which to be thankful! It might not be what we anticipated, but God knew the directions our journey would take us in and we are grateful for His love, guidance, and provision. 

Home again we finish the day reading, coloring, cuddling dogs, checking social media, and praying that 2016 finds our family all together from start to finish.

 

See you soon Holly!

This my friend Holly's cat. I just love this picture of Sharkey, I like to think he's trying to get as close as possible to Jesus. I asked a couple weeks ago if I could share it and she gave me permission.

Holly passed away on Saturday. She was an amazing person, great nurse, and a warm kind friend to all who knew her. This Christmas she will be with Jesus, probably getting right up close, like Sharkey.

Life is short, but to God be the Glory, He is good, He has made a way and we will meet again in heaven. Will you be there for the party?!

Know God, know peace!

Love you Holly!

Dad

> Had a nice FaceTime chat with my sweet dad today! He really seemed like he was doing well and was happy.
>
> We cherish those times!!
>

Good fit!

The Joseph Caper

We present, to the tune of, "Mary Did You Know"...

🎤🎼 Vinnie do you know, who ate the head off of Joseph?!🎤🎼

From the lack of eye contact, I'd say she knows!!

A said: Mary and Jesus are both witnesses, but Joseph can't remember a thing! (Lol, love that kid's wit!)

He Knows...

We had him for 6 hours...and two meltdowns...not bad.

We had fun, it felt good...more complete.

As I drive away I wonder...will it get easier to walk to the car...will it get easier to get in the car...will it always be this hard to drive away and leave a piece of our puzzle behind? 

A few miles down the road as I pull into the gas station to get a soda for the drive home I turn the car off and silently wish everyone would just go in and leave me alone so I can sit here and cry. 

I want to cry loud and shed the big tears that I'm struggling to hold back. I want to put my head down on the steering wheel and let it go so this ache in my throat eases and my eyes stop burning...and my heart stops breaking.

Back in the car silent tears flow; it's odd how they only roll down the left cheek and I'm glad because they go unnoticed and I don't have to acknowledge aloud that I'm....what am I???

...sad? ...hurting? ...Grieving!

Grieving for each dark shirted boy in that space...I see longing and I feel longing. I want to envelope each of them in a warm "goodnight and know that somebody loves you" hug. I smile as warmly as I can and remain in my space as they emit small timid wary smiles and hellos. Then I wonder about their stories...why?...what?...who?...WHY?!!! I grieve for what should have been for each of them and for what might be...I quickly and silently lift them up to The Father as I look upon their faces and the song He Knows, by Jeremy Camp, comes to mind. I'm so glad He knows! 

Then I call back over the one face whose story I do know for one more hug and another I love you! I want the love we feel for him to sink in and seal the gaps and cracks that others have created. 

He's not embarrassed that I hug him and say, "one more hug for your momma, kiddo, I love you!" Although I know it's love that terrifies him the most, he hugs back...I also know it is love he longs for the most. He doesn't yet understand or trust love but he says, "I love you too." 

Then there he is walking away, back into this new part of his journey...separate from us...and I grieve anew. 

I think to myself, as I drive, "I'll call him Link because I feel like he's our missing piece! We feel more whole when he's there." Which leads me to wonder if I should call him Abraham Lincoln...and just call him Linc for short....sometimes I think I'm ADD...squirrel...!

I ask to turn on a story I've downloaded thinking this will distract me and the ache will lessen...but  the consensus seems to be that we listen to music instead...so I throw myself into that switching between 70's on 7 through to 90's in 9...singing along thankful for our free trial of satellite that get me from there to here.

It helps. 

Everyone, including myself, says this is best...but it's just so hard which bring me to wonder...will it get any easier?  Do I even want it to?

"He Knows" - Jeremy Camp

All the bitter weary ways

Endless striving day by day

You barely have the strength to pray

In the valley low

And how hard your fight has been

How deep the pain within

Wounds that no one else has seen

Hurts too much to show

All the doubt you're standing in between

And all the weight that brings you to your knees

[Chorus:]

He knows

He knows

Every hurt and every sting

He has walked the suffering

He knows

He knows

Let your burdens come undone

Lift your eyes up to the one

Who knows

He knows

He knows

We may faint and we may sink

Feel the pain and near the brink

But the dark begins to shrink

When you find the one who knows

The chains of doubt that held you in between

one by one are starting to break free

[Chorus]

Every time you feel forsaken

Every time that you feel alone

He is near to the brokenhearted

Every tear

He knows

He knows

[Chorus]

RAD

Want to know more about what My husband and I have been facing? Check this out. http://abcn.ws/1MXcTEK

We don't talk about the details of what we face because we don't want our kiddos to be labeled, we believe we can make a difference, but it will take a time. Plus, we already feel a bit ostracized by friends who just don't understand. It's okay, we get it, we are overwhelmed by it too. We didn't ask for this, but God knew they needed someone to fight for answers, for help and to still love them through their life. He knew they needed people who weren't going to cower to fear of the overwhelming and unknown but to fiercely advocate despite our often heavy hearts and exhaustion.

At times we feel judged, but we can't parent like other people parent, it looks a lot different to combat years of trauma and foster trust and dependence. We understand that the judgement is due to a lack of education/understanding regarding Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). 

Until recently, RAD and the trauma it causes, hasn't been well studied. Yet, more and more literature is coming forth. It's sad and yet fascinating to learn about. Our brains are so fragile, from conception they are formed dependent upon our surroundings and  interactions. 

The younger the interventions, the better the outcomes. Sometimes we feel like we are racing against a clock, but then we remember all the prayers and know the One who is in control is not bound by time. 

Continue to keep us in your prayers. We are on a new safer step in the journey. But one that will likely set back the attachment. In addition, Beaver and I have been struggling emotionally. Thankfully (i have the best work team ever) I was given a few days off to regroup, this has been so good for us! 

Special thanks to my mom and brothers for their unwavering support! 

We know we aren't alone, if you know people struggling with RAD kids who need a listening ear or to know they aren't alone, feel free to have them contact us. We'd love support and walk beside them on their journey. 

If you feel burdened for them but don't know what to do, just do something. Believe me, they won't know what they need, but they need to know people are there for them. We received a few fast food gift cards in the mail and another time a frozen casserole to cook up when could, someone else showed up to sit with us in the waiting room. This felt amazing!!! 

If nothing else read up on RAD and get a peak into their battle so you can truly empathize with them. 

Prayer warriors, thank you!!!!

(Wow, that was lengthy!)

Fine, thanks!

My coworkers called my bluff on my "Fine" yesterday. Got me thinking and creating. I wasn't allowing myself time to step back and consider how I really feel, I just stay safetly focused on keeping all the plates spinning.

So, this morning as I reflected on how I feel, I am thinking about how I indeed have a lot of big emotions and feelings.

But I also have a BIG God who, in the midst of my anxiety, calms my heart.  Despite being overwhelmed, He's beside me and makes a way. He knows my tears, He bolsters me on eagles wings when I feel exhausted and defeated, He comforts and heals the raw sadness.

So, I'm not quite fine, I'm human and hurting, but in Him, I am strong and in Him I have hope and peace!

Make Me a Blessing!

So it's been a rough few months. But I believe that God brings things into your life to make you stronger, not through our own strength but through His.

I have to be honest though, sometimes it is just downright depressing! A couple days ago I just felt myself slipping into "poor me-ville" and decided to STOP IT!!! We've been given too many blessings for that!! (if you haven't seen Bob Newhart's SNL "stop it" clip be sure to google it! Lol!!)

I've always held the belief that if you doing something for someone else you have no time to think about yourself. So Beav and I talked, we decided to each choose a person and bless them! 

We've been thinking about who to bless and how and it's been fun! Tonight we were able to bless someone extra...with a whole freezer full of food!! 

I came home from work, went to get dinner out of the freezer, and noticed things seemed to be defrosting. Throughout dinner I felt just sick about it. After dinner I checked again. Sure enough the freezer quit working! So, we packaged everything up carried it to the car and drop it off where we knew it would be put to good use! 

God has a strange way of using us to bless others!! Lol!! 

Seriously though, I don't think it's His typical MO, but as I drove away I couldn't help feeling good about being able to give! I couldn't help think that God used the situation to bless others, and that helped me be at peace with the loss of the freezer! I'm grateful we had it as long as we did and it served us well! 

Thanking the Lord for His reminder that He is in control and even in circumstances that we don't anticipate, we can be a blessing! 

She's got style!

It's been a long wee...month, or two! I took off today to be with Beav (he's recovering nicely, but has had a lot of odd nerve pains due to where the disc was trapping it) 

So this afternoon, after running errands, I took a quick shower and laid down to take a little nap before getting A from school. 

Forgetting A had counseling today, I set the alarm for the wrong time. As soon as I woke up it dawned on me and I flew out of bed, pulled on jeans, slipped on shoes, grabbed a shirt and ran out the door pulling the shirt on over my head.

Because he has counseling I had to pick him up early. When you pick up a kid early you have to go in and sign them out. 

I get to the school and run in to get him. It's as I get to the doors and see my reflection that I realize 1) my now dry hair is sticking up at all angles 2) hanging down from beneath my shirt is my nightgown (pink with green frogs). I start feverishly trying to tuck it into my jeans and simultaneously smooth my hair as the teacher greets me at the door. 

I mumbled something about alarms, over sleeping, and day off (I threw the day off thing in so they don't think I live a life of leisure)! I sign him out...I think. 

On our jog back to the car I discovered that I should have let the nightie hang down...certainly the frogs would have been a distraction from the zipper on my pants being down and the shirt being on backwards??!!!

Oh the GLAMOROUS life of Hannah Jane!!

I'm A Nurse!

To The Hosts of The View, 

Shame on you for putting down my profession!

I've held hands with the dying. I'm a nurse.

I've delivered babies and assisted them to take their first breath. I'm a nurse.

I've worked tirelessly to save lives, sometimes in the midst of chaos and with all odds against us and not giving up hope. I'm a nurse.

I've detected heart murmurs that no one else had. I'm a nurse.

I've changed dressing on wounds you can only imagine. I'm a nurse.

I've counseled pregnant scared teenagers. I'm a nurse.

I've detected abuse, offered resources and implored them to seek press charges, and/or leave. I'm a nurse.

I've administered chemo to courageous patients who became survivors. I'm a nurse.

I've prayed with and for patients who've been scared and asked me to stay and pray. I'm a nurse.

I've taken blood and given blood. I'm a nurse.

I've bravely explained next steps to trauma patients and their families, sometimes next steps are saying good-bye. I'm a nurse.

I've removed ticks, beads out of noses, stitches, splinters, and....other things. I'm a nurse.

I know all the nerves but as my patient, I'll never let you know when you are on my last one. I'm a nurse.

I've felt like the whole world should stop in homage to the life we tried so desperately to save…but go on to the next waiting patient, he's angry with me because it's been over an hour and his toe has not been addressed. I'm a nurse.

I've carefully calculated doses so you are safe. I'm a nurse.

I've prayed to God for wisdom and interceded with Him on behalf of someone I don’t and will likely never know. I'm a nurse. 

I've made lots of crazy faces and sang silly sings to distract kiddos from their anxiety and pain while I prepare them for the reduction of a fracture or other interventions. I'm a nurse. 

I am a fierce patient advocate. I'm a nurse.

I've saved lives, young and old. I am a nurse.

I've started IVs that would make your head spin. I'm a nurse.

I have talked to patients and families about important end of life decisions. I'm a nurse.

I've gone to work even when I'm sicker than some of my patients. I'm a nurse.

I've stayed long past my shift because you trusted me, needed me. I'm a nurse.

I count it a privilege to help people of all shapes, sizes, colors, cultures, ethnicities....I've cared for them, advocated for them, cried with them, laughed with them, and I've educated them and they've educated me. I have had many a day where my feet have ached, my heads been throbbing, my emotions are raw, my bladder is full and my stomach is empty...it’s okay, i love what i do and will do it again tomorrow! I'm a nurse.

#theview

#nursesunite 

Looking back...

Wow! It was a year ago I posted the below. we've been through so much in that year, lots of ups and downs! Great memories we have made and struggles we would like to forget. 

God brought us this far and we are so thankful. 

There are some heavy duty things going on here and we continue to need your love and prayers. 

Our hearts are full and our hearts are aching!

Six years ago today...

Wow, time flies!! It was six years ago today I became leadership in the Emergency Department! A dream come true!! 

I was ER supervisor for 2 years and their Nurse Manager for 4! I think I still win the longevity prize for that position. They had 3 in my 4 years before leadership, and they've had 2 Nurse Managers since (I left 2 years ago)!  😀 It was a tough job, but I loved it. I grew so much there and had fantastic mentors. 

But as the family came along and school got tougher: finishing my MSN and having my Doctorate looming, I knew I had to make a choice. I prayed, I cried, and I chose wisely! 😇

Yup, sometimes I miss the adrenaline...and have almost an instinctive desire to chase down ambulances! 🚑 but God sure knew what He was doing when He paved the way for this new ADVENTURE!!

We are equipped...for the race!

I wasn't sure whether to sigh in relief, cry big tears full of mixed emotions, phone a friend for moral support, or jump for joy that he is going to get help and allow myself to relax a little...so I did all of it! 

Thanks to a FABULOUS Social Worker who didn't take no for an answer, and an amazing team that stood firm in their advocacy for us, we have been transferred on to the next stage in the process of getting help!

So tonight, after 11 days in the children's hospital, we left knowing we would not be there tomorrow.  It was an odd feeling: freeing yet scary because he'll be so far away. 

Our house feels strange too, as we are still less one, but the chaos feelings of the past weeks of trying to keep it all together are lessening already.  It's surreal. It feels good to know he's safe, we're safe...and we have a couple days to breathe.

Tomorrow we do life...work, laundry, dishes, clean, and maybe even cook a meal?! 

But one thing we don't stop doing is advocating for and loving a kiddo who needs us more than his actions tell us...we may question why we've been chosen for this, but we don't question that we have been chosen for this...and therefore, as He is already equipping us, and we will run the race. 

Not so energized bunny...

I swing from being grateful to feeling pissed, and from peaceful understanding to frustration! I think I'm just tired...

Trying to let go and trust. 

GRUMPOPATOMUS

I am officially a GRUMPOPATOMUS!!! I'm sick and tired if spending my days in the hospital, annoyed with being on call when there are no-shows, frustrated to depend on people to help with the other kiddo so he doesn't have to hang out at the hospital, pissed with insurance companies, sick of over-priced gross hospital food, sick of unreliable people, agencies, ombudsmans, and just over all feeling frustrated with life! 

With that being said, I feel guilty! So, I made myself think of at least 10 things I'm thankful for! Because we do have so much to be thankful for and I need to keep things in perspective!! 

My thankful list: it goes without saying that I am thankful that we have great doctors, nurses, social workers, nurse techs, safety attendants, and more! So, I'm not allowing myself to count that as one of the ten! 

1) We have dogs that love on us the minute we walk through the door! They love us so much they leave us stinky treats to show us their displeasure at being left alone for so many hours 😁 (okay, so that was a grump too so I owe myself two extra things to be thankful for!)

2) Thankful we don't typically eat this much hospital food.

3) Thankful for our health, we see others daily who aren't as fortunate.

4) Thankful for the dedicated professionals we interact with each day! They all wish they had a magic wand...anyone know where we can get one for them???

5) I'm thankful for ice tea and coffee!

6) I'm thankful for sooooo many prayers. Despite my griping today, it really humbles and lifts me up. I know without a doubt those prayers are why we are being heard and getting help.

7) Skipbo

8) I'm thankful for technology it is allowing me to FaceTime with mom, teach this kiddo Tai Chi, and keeping up with FB and a game here and there helps fight the boredom...not to mention shopping on Amazin and Zulily...really please don't mention it...at least not to the husband!! 😀😁😆😉

9) Raspberries being on sale for $1 a pack! 

10) A car with air conditioning!

11) The Beave

12) That the cafeteria suddenly sells Satellite Wafers!! Reliving a fond childhood memory!! 

Wow, I am feeling better already!! I am well on my way to being a REFORMED GRUMPOPATOMUS!!!

She's Got Wings

Lately, for some reason, a lot of sayings involving feather/wings have come across my path.  It has made me stop and think.

I was reminded of the blog post I once wrote with a similar title to this one: You've Got Wings

Psalms 91:4 and Isaiah 40:31

“He covers us with his feathers…” 

“But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint” Isaiah 40:31

Reminders to me that amongst ALL that He is...He is loving, He is protective, He offers refuge, He gives us peace, He renews our strength!

I saw a saying: “With Brave Wings She Flies” I thought, this is me!  Then I thought, while I love that saying...I am not so sure I have had BRAVE wings.  The recent weeks have been quite crazy and overwhelming time, I don’t quite always feel brave…infact, I have felt shaken to my core. I feel these wings I have are thin and delicate, timid even. Yet, when I stop and think about how much we have been through and the hurdles we have overcome, I realize the wings are brave.  However, it is not on my own bravery, but that of Christ in me and it is through the support of love and prayer of other who when I am weak intercede for me with The Father.

In His strength and on the prayers of others, I don’t just fly, I can also SOAR!

Here's my Heart, Lord take and seal it!

One of my favorite hymns from my childhood speaks to me today.

Come Thou Fount

Come, Thou Fount of every blessing,
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it,
Mount of Thy redeeming love.

Sorrowing I shall be in spirit,
Till released from flesh and sin,
Yet from what I do inherit,
Here Thy praises I’ll begin;
Here I raise my Ebenezer;
Here by Thy great help I’ve come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.

Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood;
How His kindness yet pursues me
Mortal tongue can never tell,
Clothed in flesh, till death shall loose me
I cannot proclaim it well.

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

O that day when freed from sinning,
I shall see Thy lovely face;
Clothed then in blood washed linen
How I’ll sing Thy sovereign grace;
Come, my Lord, no longer tarry,
Take my ransomed soul away;
Send thine angels now to carry
Me to realms of endless day.

We never imagined

I never imagined this would be my life!

Driving to the Crisis Center, again. 

Following a police car, again. 

They know us here, we joke that there should be a punch card reward system. It's not really even funny, minutes ago we were punching bags

I never imagined it would be this hard, this hurtful, this painful, this violent, this destructive, this exhausting, this heart wrenching. 

I want to hate him, I know it's the frustration speaking and I feel guilty for even thinking it. I keep praying that the Lord will continue to give me a renewed love for him.

He did not ask to be broken. 

He never imagined this would be his life either! 

Lord please send healing.

💙💔💙

Born Lippy

Privilege

I've seen the hand of God today...

I always amazed at the way the Lord faithfully shows up in my life! Especially when I feel overwhelmed! Here's my thoughts on my day:

I've seen the hand of God today...

It was there when I was frustrated and out of sorts this morning, juggling emotions while preparing for the tasks ahead. It came in the hand of the man who smiled, when I couldn't, and opened the door for me. I knew it was you Lord and it made me smile and built hope and trust.

I saw you in the coworker who thoughtfully got me lunch, she didn't know I didn't have one today and was short on cash, but You did! I felt you in that moment, it brought peace to my heart.

There was your hand at support group tonight, it was in a fellow foster mother who nodded in vehement affirmation as I shared deep feelings of inadequacy and fear. I know you were speaking through her when she said, "I know." I felt safe and understood.

I saw Your hand this evening when I was scared of a potential med reaction in my son. You came in the form a friend and pharmacist who took time to search and dig and problem solve. I felt supported and then relieved. 

Tonight as I lay down, and as I type these word I'm certain the One who dries my tears has nails prints in His hands.

Lemon Berry Dressing

So, I made a beautiful salad for lunch. Only to realize I only had Ranch Dressing on hand. Not quite the flavor I was going for with my Farmer's Market fresh lettuce, cucumbers, carrots, strawberries, and blueberries salad. So, I made one up!

1/4 cup of sugar

1/4 cup lemon juice

1/8 cup water

1/4 cup olive oil

1/2 tsp fresh cracked pepper

3-4 small strawberries

6-8 blueberries

I threw it all in the blender for about one minute. It made about a cup of dressing and I poured it over the salad, topped it off with walnuts and it was a hit!! Even the kids gave it great reviews!!

(Intact salad picture interrupted by hungry eager husband, lol!!) 

Happy Independence Day

DIY: Slip & Slide

How to make a SLIP & SLIDE in your Kitchen! 

1) Knock over a full bottle of Olive Oil. 

2) Have dog quickly lick up oil and promptly vomit bile.

3) Now attempt to navigate the entire mess and fail

Congratulations you have managed to create your own SLIP and SLIDE.

So, now I'm debating, do I put this "How To" on Pinterest under the DIY category or the Staycation Ideas category?? 

Stayed tuned for our next edition which focuses on how to get olive oil and dog puke out of your work clothes and hair! #calgon...

It will be...

It's been a stretching few days. So I took some time out tonight to relax and reflect and made this.

Thankful for my dad!

Dear Jesus, 

Thank you for my dad! Thank you for allowing me to have the blessing of an earthly father that loves me so much. 

I'm scared of losing my dad, I wanna be sure he knows how much I love him, how thankful I am for his love, guidance, coaching, listening ear, advice, and for pointing me endlessly to Yourself. He taught me to love and respect all of creation. He showed me this as he cared for the homeless and hungry, and as he took care of injured creatures and gave countless pets a home! He taught me to have fun in that we made kites together, he built us a sledding hill during the blizzard, the same blizzard he walked miles through the snow in to help others. Swimming, canoeing, hiking, penny candy stores, yard sales, ice cream, horses, 4-h, boyfriends, dances, my memories are full of his provision, protection, love of life...love for his family! 

How do you face this? How, while your heart breaks, do you mourn continual losses as dementia whittles away the man you know, love, and call Dad? It's overwhelming and consuming.

For now, I get through the days...I pray....I cry...I get angry....I reason with myself about who I'm getting angry with and why that's not fair...I accept...I pray the Lord take him home, make him whole...I cry...

Jesus, thank you for my Dad!

Funnies

Beaver and I were having a disagreement. "A" piped in from the backseat, "don't worry beaver, girls are from Venus!" I replied, "thanks a lot, A!" Trying to back track he said, "no, not you Mom, I'm talking about other girls, like the ones in my class! You are from Mars like boys!" 

#eyeroll #fail

—---------------------------------------------

One child, who shall remain nameless, has been on a stealing binge. Tonight, he was at it again and made to stand in time out. A meltdown ensued in which we were informed, once again, that we are the worst parents EVER and that Beaver is "the meanest dad in the world!!" Along with a bonus insult, "Meaner than...than...The Devil! 👹

To which the other child reacted by instantly jumping up from where he was coloring, sarcastically throwing up his hands and chanting, "I am the son of the Devil!" Then hugged me and exclaimed gleefully, "I love you, Devil Mom!" 

#comicrelief #happytoknowimreallyachildofTHEKING #oyvey

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I had the boys today while Beaver helped a friend. We dropped beaver off and headed home to get the boys breakfast. We stopped at a church sale where D picked out a super hero costume. 

We got home, had breakfast, and I kept thinking about the blender I had seen. So, back in the car we go. About 3 sales later I noticed I didn't have D with me after all, but a super hero, cape and all (minus shoes...oops!). Did not get the "observant mom of the day" award! I did get a few comments...lol...but hey, life is too short to leave your cape at home!

At one sale he was given a stuffed ninja turtle. I was standing at another table and they did not know he was with me and the wife said, "you just gave that away?" And the husband replied, "he was dressed like a super hero, how cool is that...you can't take money from a super hero!" I chuckled to myself and wished I had a super hero costume so I didn't have to pay for the items I had chosen, lol!

A few others just gave strange looks....but meh, I really did not feel the need to explain anything to anyone!

 “All grown-ups were once children... but only few of them remember it.” 

― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

Penis vs Penance

D is in the backseat reading a Garfield book. He laughs out loud and says, "guys you have to hear this it is so funny!" He proceeds to read the comic strip to us about how John gets after Garfield for stealing his lunch and John says, "that's not nice Garfield" to which Garfield replies, " how about I shave my head and penis?!!" 

In unison Beaver and say incredulously, "What??" As we reach in tandem for the book! 

I get the book, quickly read it and say, "that's Penance D, not Penis!" "Oh," he laughs..."what's penance?" After I explain penance to him we all chuckled! 

Oh my, you just never know!!

Soap Box Time: Be Warned!!

I am not a huge "duggar fan" they are too legalistic for me. However, I am sad for them and any family in this type of public situation. But what I feel worse about is seeing how many mean and judgmental Christ followers are being towards them. I expect that from people who don't realize the forgiveness of sins, but we are called to be Christ-like we need to be more loving with our words and actions. 

To cast judgement is just downright silly and people are sounding terribly ignorant. You do not even know the whole story – you just took what the media has present and have run with it.  They do not owe you an explanation of how they handled the situation, or what took place...it’s NONE of your business!

One comment was, “I would not have married him if he had confessed that to me!”  AWESOME, that's terrible!!! Let’s create a community where we lie, never bear each other’s burdens, and stuff our sins away so they eat at us and come out in other ways instead of dealing with them in a healthy manner.  Let's teach people it’s not okay to have problems and work through them, let's not teach the Lord is all about forgiveness...I mean since you are so perfect and all!

Seriously, don’t be so hypocritical and self-righteous; each person has sin in their lives, how would you like yours set out for public ridicule and scorn?!

Where is the love????  The Lord commands us to be discerning and to speak the truth in love, to do whatever is good. Butsplashing hateful things on Facebook?...SMH!

It is really not about the Duggars…I have no idea all that has transpired…but what I see here on FB leads to me ask….

Is it TRUE?  Is it HELPFUL? It is KIND? Is it NECESSARY? 

#haveyouprayedforthemtoday? #ifnothenshutup! #ifyesthenshutupandprayagain

Response to critics....

 1) I trust and value your input! I agree too...yet it's less about the Duggars and the situation and more about forgiveness and acceptance of others...love. Besides, if people don't like them and think they are judgmental why stoop to level that you see and abhor in others? So silly to me. I certainly don't condone them...but I still want to leave room for grace and understanding....for anyone.

2) I do not know enough about it to cast judgement on their actions......its not about the Duggars. Yet I feel terrible for any victim of sexual crimes - it's incredibly violating to the whole being.

3) I don't answer for them, just me. (But I don't agree with them either)! 

4) I'm educated, I know the statistics! It's not about that, people! It's about how mean people are being, but take it as you may.

5) I certainly do not agree with the Duggars stand on many things, I hope that's loud and clear! Sexual crimes should never be covered or left to go without a proper course of tx.....but it really was not about that. It was about stepping back and removing our own planks.  I'm not offended btw, but I'm smarter than I look, lol! 😜😘

6) You reminded me of these verses: Galatians 6:1-10Living Bible (TLB)

6 Dear brothers, if a Christian is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help him back onto the right path, remembering that next time it might be one of you who is in the wrong. 2 Share each other’s troubles and problems, and so obey our Lord’s command. 3 If anyone thinks he is too great to stoop to this, he is fooling himself. He is really a nobody.

4 Let everyone be sure that he is doing his very best, for then he will have the personal satisfaction of work well done and won’t need to compare himself with someone else. 5 Each of us must bear some faults and burdens of his own. For none of us is perfect!

6 Those who are taught the Word of God should help their teachers by paying them.

7 Don’t be misled; remember that you can’t ignore God and get away with it: a man will always reap just the kind of crop he sows! 8 If he sows to please his own wrong desires, he will be planting seeds of evil and he will surely reap a harvest of spiritual decay and death; but if he plants the good things of the Spirit, he will reap the everlasting life that the Holy Spirit gives him. 9 And let us not get tired of doing what is right, for after a while we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t get discouraged and give up. 10 That’s why whenever we can we should always be kind to everyone, and especially to our Christian brothers.

Addendum:  sites to check out: they said it better than myself! 

http://blogs.christianpost.com/wretched/the-duggar-disaster-25658/

http://www.sgberman.com/2015/05/21/to-those-celebrating-josh-duggars-fall-congratulations-you-still-lose/