RAD

Want to know more about what My husband and I have been facing? Check this out. http://abcn.ws/1MXcTEK

We don't talk about the details of what we face because we don't want our kiddos to be labeled, we believe we can make a difference, but it will take a time. Plus, we already feel a bit ostracized by friends who just don't understand. It's okay, we get it, we are overwhelmed by it too. We didn't ask for this, but God knew they needed someone to fight for answers, for help and to still love them through their life. He knew they needed people who weren't going to cower to fear of the overwhelming and unknown but to fiercely advocate despite our often heavy hearts and exhaustion.

At times we feel judged, but we can't parent like other people parent, it looks a lot different to combat years of trauma and foster trust and dependence. We understand that the judgement is due to a lack of education/understanding regarding Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). 

Until recently, RAD and the trauma it causes, hasn't been well studied. Yet, more and more literature is coming forth. It's sad and yet fascinating to learn about. Our brains are so fragile, from conception they are formed dependent upon our surroundings and  interactions. 

The younger the interventions, the better the outcomes. Sometimes we feel like we are racing against a clock, but then we remember all the prayers and know the One who is in control is not bound by time. 

Continue to keep us in your prayers. We are on a new safer step in the journey. But one that will likely set back the attachment. In addition, Beaver and I have been struggling emotionally. Thankfully (i have the best work team ever) I was given a few days off to regroup, this has been so good for us! 

Special thanks to my mom and brothers for their unwavering support! 

We know we aren't alone, if you know people struggling with RAD kids who need a listening ear or to know they aren't alone, feel free to have them contact us. We'd love support and walk beside them on their journey. 

If you feel burdened for them but don't know what to do, just do something. Believe me, they won't know what they need, but they need to know people are there for them. We received a few fast food gift cards in the mail and another time a frozen casserole to cook up when could, someone else showed up to sit with us in the waiting room. This felt amazing!!! 

If nothing else read up on RAD and get a peak into their battle so you can truly empathize with them. 

Prayer warriors, thank you!!!!

(Wow, that was lengthy!)

Fine, thanks!

My coworkers called my bluff on my "Fine" yesterday. Got me thinking and creating. I wasn't allowing myself time to step back and consider how I really feel, I just stay safetly focused on keeping all the plates spinning.

So, this morning as I reflected on how I feel, I am thinking about how I indeed have a lot of big emotions and feelings.

But I also have a BIG God who, in the midst of my anxiety, calms my heart.  Despite being overwhelmed, He's beside me and makes a way. He knows my tears, He bolsters me on eagles wings when I feel exhausted and defeated, He comforts and heals the raw sadness.

So, I'm not quite fine, I'm human and hurting, but in Him, I am strong and in Him I have hope and peace!

Make Me a Blessing!

So it's been a rough few months. But I believe that God brings things into your life to make you stronger, not through our own strength but through His.

I have to be honest though, sometimes it is just downright depressing! A couple days ago I just felt myself slipping into "poor me-ville" and decided to STOP IT!!! We've been given too many blessings for that!! (if you haven't seen Bob Newhart's SNL "stop it" clip be sure to google it! Lol!!)

I've always held the belief that if you doing something for someone else you have no time to think about yourself. So Beav and I talked, we decided to each choose a person and bless them! 

We've been thinking about who to bless and how and it's been fun! Tonight we were able to bless someone extra...with a whole freezer full of food!! 

I came home from work, went to get dinner out of the freezer, and noticed things seemed to be defrosting. Throughout dinner I felt just sick about it. After dinner I checked again. Sure enough the freezer quit working! So, we packaged everything up carried it to the car and drop it off where we knew it would be put to good use! 

God has a strange way of using us to bless others!! Lol!! 

Seriously though, I don't think it's His typical MO, but as I drove away I couldn't help feeling good about being able to give! I couldn't help think that God used the situation to bless others, and that helped me be at peace with the loss of the freezer! I'm grateful we had it as long as we did and it served us well! 

Thanking the Lord for His reminder that He is in control and even in circumstances that we don't anticipate, we can be a blessing! 

She's got style!

It's been a long wee...month, or two! I took off today to be with Beav (he's recovering nicely, but has had a lot of odd nerve pains due to where the disc was trapping it) 

So this afternoon, after running errands, I took a quick shower and laid down to take a little nap before getting A from school. 

Forgetting A had counseling today, I set the alarm for the wrong time. As soon as I woke up it dawned on me and I flew out of bed, pulled on jeans, slipped on shoes, grabbed a shirt and ran out the door pulling the shirt on over my head.

Because he has counseling I had to pick him up early. When you pick up a kid early you have to go in and sign them out. 

I get to the school and run in to get him. It's as I get to the doors and see my reflection that I realize 1) my now dry hair is sticking up at all angles 2) hanging down from beneath my shirt is my nightgown (pink with green frogs). I start feverishly trying to tuck it into my jeans and simultaneously smooth my hair as the teacher greets me at the door. 

I mumbled something about alarms, over sleeping, and day off (I threw the day off thing in so they don't think I live a life of leisure)! I sign him out...I think. 

On our jog back to the car I discovered that I should have let the nightie hang down...certainly the frogs would have been a distraction from the zipper on my pants being down and the shirt being on backwards??!!!

Oh the GLAMOROUS life of Hannah Jane!!

I'm A Nurse!

To The Hosts of The View, 

Shame on you for putting down my profession!

I've held hands with the dying. I'm a nurse.

I've delivered babies and assisted them to take their first breath. I'm a nurse.

I've worked tirelessly to save lives, sometimes in the midst of chaos and with all odds against us and not giving up hope. I'm a nurse.

I've detected heart murmurs that no one else had. I'm a nurse.

I've changed dressing on wounds you can only imagine. I'm a nurse.

I've counseled pregnant scared teenagers. I'm a nurse.

I've detected abuse, offered resources and implored them to seek press charges, and/or leave. I'm a nurse.

I've administered chemo to courageous patients who became survivors. I'm a nurse.

I've prayed with and for patients who've been scared and asked me to stay and pray. I'm a nurse.

I've taken blood and given blood. I'm a nurse.

I've bravely explained next steps to trauma patients and their families, sometimes next steps are saying good-bye. I'm a nurse.

I've removed ticks, beads out of noses, stitches, splinters, and....other things. I'm a nurse.

I know all the nerves but as my patient, I'll never let you know when you are on my last one. I'm a nurse.

I've felt like the whole world should stop in homage to the life we tried so desperately to save…but go on to the next waiting patient, he's angry with me because it's been over an hour and his toe has not been addressed. I'm a nurse.

I've carefully calculated doses so you are safe. I'm a nurse.

I've prayed to God for wisdom and interceded with Him on behalf of someone I don’t and will likely never know. I'm a nurse. 

I've made lots of crazy faces and sang silly sings to distract kiddos from their anxiety and pain while I prepare them for the reduction of a fracture or other interventions. I'm a nurse. 

I am a fierce patient advocate. I'm a nurse.

I've saved lives, young and old. I am a nurse.

I've started IVs that would make your head spin. I'm a nurse.

I have talked to patients and families about important end of life decisions. I'm a nurse.

I've gone to work even when I'm sicker than some of my patients. I'm a nurse.

I've stayed long past my shift because you trusted me, needed me. I'm a nurse.

I count it a privilege to help people of all shapes, sizes, colors, cultures, ethnicities....I've cared for them, advocated for them, cried with them, laughed with them, and I've educated them and they've educated me. I have had many a day where my feet have ached, my heads been throbbing, my emotions are raw, my bladder is full and my stomach is empty...it’s okay, i love what i do and will do it again tomorrow! I'm a nurse.

#theview

#nursesunite 

Looking back...

Wow! It was a year ago I posted the below. we've been through so much in that year, lots of ups and downs! Great memories we have made and struggles we would like to forget. 

God brought us this far and we are so thankful. 

There are some heavy duty things going on here and we continue to need your love and prayers. 

Our hearts are full and our hearts are aching!

Six years ago today...

Wow, time flies!! It was six years ago today I became leadership in the Emergency Department! A dream come true!! 

I was ER supervisor for 2 years and their Nurse Manager for 4! I think I still win the longevity prize for that position. They had 3 in my 4 years before leadership, and they've had 2 Nurse Managers since (I left 2 years ago)!  😀 It was a tough job, but I loved it. I grew so much there and had fantastic mentors. 

But as the family came along and school got tougher: finishing my MSN and having my Doctorate looming, I knew I had to make a choice. I prayed, I cried, and I chose wisely! 😇

Yup, sometimes I miss the adrenaline...and have almost an instinctive desire to chase down ambulances! 🚑 but God sure knew what He was doing when He paved the way for this new ADVENTURE!!