Discipline

Gifts aren't always things, but moments God grants us!

One of my favorite pictures of Gram and I. I had just helped her eat dinner, spaghetti. She didn't really know me and I so wanted her to. I had just flown in and was weary and sad, I sat on the bed and laid my head on her like I used to and said " Love you so much Gram!" She put her hand in my face and said, "I love you too, Honey!" Deep down, she knew me! I'm so glad my mom got this precious picture! 

Stop to smell the roses

Flowers I made this weekend! 

70x7

I was taught a wise lesson by a 6 year old today! When we asked him what he learned in Sunday school he said he learned about not getting even with people. I said, "oh because we can trust God to take of them for us?"  He said, "No, we just need to forgive them."

Forgiveness is something I am struggling with tonight and I can see how the Lord was preparing my heart for it earlier, through a 6 year old, AWESOME!! It reminds me of this verse I learned years ago,  "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity." 1 Timothy 4: 12

My gram!

Dear Jesus, 

Thank you for giving me such a dear sweet and godly Grama. I loved her so much and I am so happy to know she is there with you tonight.  Thank you for taking her HOME where is finally well and free. I know she is happy to be with you, her love and trust in your was so evident throughout her life.

I am so grateful she was mine, My Gram! Hug her for me, let her know I wish I could have said goodbye but that I look forward to seeing her again someday. 

With a sad but peaceful heart, Gram's girl!

That will be Glory

1. When all my labors and trials are o’er,

And I am safe on that beautiful shore,

Just to be near the dear Lord I adore

Will thro’ the ages be glory for me.

Chorus:

O that will be glory for me

Glory for me,

Glory for me;

When by His grace I shall look on His face,

That will be glory,

Be glory for me.

2. When by the gift of His infinite grace,

I am accorded in heaven a place,

Just to be there and to look on His face,

Will thro’ the ages be glory for me.

3. Friends will be there I have loved long ago;

Joy like a river around me will flow;

Yet, just a smile from my Savior, I know,

Will thro’ the ages be glory for me.

Branding

Two weeks from today!

Two weeks from today I get to meet my boys for the first time. I get asked two questions, 1) are you excited? 2) are you nervous?. The answer to each questions is YES and NO.  I tried to analyze my feelings today.  

Yes! I am super excited, it all seems so surreal and I just want to see them, to know that they know we want them in our lives forever!!!  

No. I feel some reservation. What holds me back from being over the moon, jump up and down excited?  Other than that type of demonstration is not typically for me, I am scared.  I keep waiting for the something to fall through.  This has been a long grueling process and I am fearful of further heartbreak.

How do I deal with that?  Trust.  Trust in a God who wants the best for these boys and loves them even more that I even will and trust in that same God who loves me more than I can imagine and will carry me through the heartbreak should that be in the plan. 

Am I nervous?

Yes, I am a little nervous when I stop to think about how I want to grab them up in a big hug or I fear I might just cry - those things make me nervous.  These are 9 and 11 year old boys - hugs might now be cool, especially from a stranger! :)  

No. My first thought about meeting them is not a nervous thought or feeling. I do not worry about them liking me - I mean WHO COULD RESIST, LOL!!  Just teasing!!  But seriously, I don’t feel concerned that they will reject us, they need and want parents and we are going to be FUN ones to have!  Although there will be rules and boundaries, I just think they will find freedom, love, and acceptance with us that they long for and need.  Will they maybe know that right away?  No! I am expecting that they will need to learn trust in us and it might be a slow painful process.

How do I deal with that? Trust.  Trust in the God who is father to the fatherless, the One who strengthen us as new parents, who will bring people into our lives to encourage, inspire, and teach us when we struggle or become discouraged. I trust He will use us to speak truth into these precious lives and that some day they will know and understand our love for them and feel secure enough to love back!

Tonight I made their picture my background picture on my laptop. I makes me smile, then it overwhelmes me with emotion and I feel my throat tighten, my nose burn, and my eyes fill with tears.  Hello sons, how amazing it feels to think I will be your mom!  I love you already and two weeks seems so far away!