Celebrating week one!

Wanted to bring you an update.  It has been one week!!  Wow, so hard to believe it’s only been a week. We certainly are feeling like new parents....we are in awe of these gifts with which we have been entrusted and we are exhausted!! :)

On Facebook (FB), you may have seen the highlights of our times times together so far!! From visits to the library, to time with friends and family, swimming, jet skis, and more.  We are so excited to be able to share them, it helps us feel connect to our friends and family all over the states and overseas. Thanks you for following along on our journey and for your prayers, keep ‘em coming!

I want to be transparent.  On FB we see all the wonderful shining moments and can lose sight of the reality of the situation we are in.  While yes it is wonderful we are also dealing with two broken boys who have been at the mercy of a broken system for several years.  It is hard. It is exhausting. It tries our patience. Honestly, it is also quite overwhelming at times. We are learning so much!! We have to be so consistent, this alone is daunting, as many parents know, it takes team work. We have been learning each other’s areas of strengths and weakness and when to come alongside the other to take over or give the other time to take a shower or just to go potty in peace. Seriously!! :)  

Sorry this is long you can skim it, but I wanted to journal it for myself as well as to share.  Since I have felt so overwhelmed I thought I would journal about how much we have to CELEBRATE!!!

Celebrating these young open hearts: There are many amazing moments that just melt your heart.  They are opening up, they are sharing their hurts and we are able to guide them through, pointing them to Christ and towards the many people in their “village” who love them and are praying for all of us. They are also at times lashing out and do not even understand why. We are privileged to helping them through this time. They understand the rules and boundaries we are setting are to help them grow into good men who love and respect their Lord as well as other people. The case workers thought it would take months to a year to get to this point where they are trusting us.  

Celebrating friends: Our friends have been tremendously understanding. The boys are very outspoken and socially awkward. But they have goals to make friends and they are trying hard to do so. It takes time, and understanding and learning from natural consequences. For example, growling in someone’s face does not a friend make. It’s awesome that you can make that tremendous noise, but not so awesome to the kid you just freaked out! They have also been understanding that the boys need to look to us as providers and learn to trust that we will meet their needs.  Some day the boys will know of all those who blessed us with gifts but for now they just need to know they have no needs, they are safe, and people love them.  Thanks friends!!

Celebrating “the blessing” we were given as children: This blessing of unconditional love and acceptance has been absent for them. So, there is a constant need to know that we are here, we are not leaving, they are loved. There are constant, “I love you’s,” hugs, kisses, and times when they ask to be held and/or rocked.  

Celebrating progress: There are many areas we anticipate to see progress in as we go for now a big one is the bedtime process. Bedtime routine is down from 3 hours to about 1 hour and we have figured out pretty good process of reassurance yet boundaries as time goes on we anticipate this will improve even more.

Celebrating their past: the boys have soft hearts they really care for others and especially for animals. They have a foundation of knowing the Jesus story and understanding who He is and what He has done.

Celebrating humorous moments: There are moments that just crack us up. For example, last night at dinner when one was praying it went like this:

“Dear Lord, we thank you Lord, for this day Lord and for this dinner Lord. Lord please be with my brother help him to be calm and have a good night Lord and have fun with his rock crystal kit. Lord help me to get past the Pokemon level that I am struggling with Lord, and Lord (INSERT me busting up laughing....I tried keeping it in, but it just cracked me up and I couldn't help it...perhaps at some level it is due to the exhaustion...anyway, that took some explaining that I just thought it was cute and then we were back to the prayer) and so Lord be with us and give us a good night Lord, Amen. Father, Son, Holy Spirit”

Then just a few minutes ago the other one came downstairs completely covered in duct tape...not sure where he found it but he made himself a costume. A costume that, to his surprise, was painful to remove especially from the eyebrows and lips and hair.  Oh my goodness, I thought he was going to suffocate himself under all that tape. 

Celebrating moments to learn and educate: There are also moments of miscommunication:  Due to the nature of autism as well as the lack of toys and things growing up, one of the behaviors we work with is collecting things. Often wrappers on the ground, various brochures or business cards they find or little stones etc...buckets of this were tossed before they came to live with us. To help curb this in our home Beaver gave each boy a small basket for their treasures and explained that when the basket is full they have to be done or throw the things away before collecting more.  Both boys solemnly accepted the baskets but never said a word. We soon learned that somewhere something was lost in translation. The baskets were soon brimming with legos, swim shoes, remote control car, etc... They had thought the only toys they were allowed to keep had to fit in the baskets.  Ooops! I think they were quite relieved to have that miscommunication cleared up!!

They are learning to cook and measure ingredients, how to look at prices,  shop for, and clean and chop fruits and vegetables. They are learning about opera, history, art, and more...it’s so fun - they are like sponges..most of the time!! :) 

Celebrating A: This is one smart kid! He is learning to be more open-minded and accepting.  He is searching for where he fits into the world and the family. He is such a good helper.  On projects he can really take his time to get them done right and is a problem solver. He craves attention, acknowledgment, and love.

Celebrating D: What a loving little boy.  Quite insecure and needing constant reassurance, love, guidance, and redirection.  He is giving and caring, he is often alone as too much action overwhelms him easily.  He loves God and listens diligently in church even when it looks like he isn’t. He is busy 99.9% of the time! 

Celebrating Family: We are all learning together how to be a family and work through hurts, learn to have a sense of humor (important for any child of ours!! Lol!!), learn that there will always be food and plenty of it, learning that families share, that just because we all may make poor choices at times, we still love each other and we are still a family.

Celebrating God’s continued good work: Please continue to pray for us although this is tough,  we have absolutely ZERO regrets and we have no second thoughts.  We know God placed these two boys in our lives and we are so very blessed!!

Celebrating YOU: thank you for your love and support. For those who listen without judgement and for those who give us advice, we know you have been there and we are taking bits and pieces from each one and it is shaping us as parents and partners in crime!! :)

Celebrating our Lord: because He is in all of this and goes before us preparing the way....phew!!! :)

Funny bone

Out for ice cream tonight in a town far far away...I saw this sign and it cracked me up; I had to snap a pic! Chalk it up to an exhausted new mom?!?!!! But I'm still giggling! 

Silk flowers

Some of my latest flowers with antique buttons, vintage jewelry, or shoes clips used in the center. (Step by step directions are listed in another blog post on 9-12-11 & 9-21-11) 

Umbrella Snack!

Fun summery treat for kids (and adults!!!)!!! 

Graham crackers

Fruit Rollup

Teddy graham

And of course the best part...the umbrella!

Rise and shine and give God the Glory

All choked up reading through so many Facebook tributes to fathers! Those who have never known their earthly fathers, those who have lost their, those who admire theirs, as well as wives tributes to the fathers of their children...so touching especially when I think of those who struggle with this day for one reason or another. We saw it in our boys today as they struggle to make sense of the hurt and loss they have known. 

Whatever the reason for the loss, our Heavenly Father loves you, He knows your heartaches and anger and fear, and He loves you, you can trust him. 

I prayed that God comfort, strengthen, and heal them. We've all been dealt cards we might not like, the challenge and responsibility is in accepting our cards,  playing them out, and choosing to rise above! 

Rise and shine and Give God the Glory

Grama's Ring

When I was a little girl I was fascinated with my Grama’s hands.  I thought they were so pretty and I loved to play with the prominent veins the stood out on the tops of her small soft hands (I guess that could have been one of the first clues that I would become a nurse someday!).  I loved her fingernails always long, strong, and polished in pearly or pale pink, I would place them over my short nails and hope some day mine would be as nice. I loved her rings and would always spin them around on her fingers and sometimes try them on, when she could get them over her arthritic knuckles. She would always say, "someday this one will be yours", her birthstone ring, a dark blue teardrop sapphire set in gold and flanked by two small diamonds. I knew what that “someday” meant and I was in no hurry for the ring to be mine. 

I was always scared of her passing on, afraid I would be without her. Sometimes I would figure out how old she was now and how old I was and think okay, well if she lives to be this age I will be that age and maybe then I would be able handle her passing, but then I would try to make her older and older so I would haver her longer. I prayed she wouldn’t ever go. 

Today I got her ring.

As I held the ring my hand my mind flashed back to her soft, pink, hands that held me, soothed me, taught me, cooked for me, sewed for me, and cared for me. I could see it on her finger, remember how she would twirl it around, and how she would hold it and tell me it would be mine "someday." I will never forget those hands. 

I cried.  

About two months ago she passed, 95 and me 40. God had prepared both of us, it was hard, but it was okay.

Earlier this evening I had time to look at it closer, it only fits my pinky. I took it off and held it and turned it over to look at it, it needs to be gently cleaned, there is a bit of powder built up. She loved powder (I do too). Then I thought, maybe it is flour from the many times she loving baked for us? Strange as it sounds I could not bear to clean it....it’s almost a last bit of her.  

Today is “someday”, and the ring is mine.

I will clean it.

But, I will clean it tomorrow.

Or maybe the day after that.

I love you my Gram! 

Thank you for the ring, thank you more for your love .

A Baker's Dozen of Important Lessons Learned this Week

1. When it has been raining, check the playground slide before allowing the child to slide down…unless it’s a lot warmer and he’s not wearing jeans. We all got a good LAUGH out of this one.
2. Being “Soccer Parents” means you SECRETLY hope children on the other team fail, and you want to smack the "parental sideline coaches…hard!”
3. Make everyone pee before leaving home….having to pee is a very CONVENIENT excuse to make pit stops in order to beg for pop and candy.
4. Find BORING pit stops (see number 3)
5. Kid hugs are AWESOME!
6. When a 9 year old boy runs around to open your car door, your heart MELTS!
7. If you torment the goose enough, it will eventually CHASE you, If you scream, run, and throw your back pack at said goose, it will snatch it up and take it to the middle of the pond and drop it in!
8. Four shoes without laces equals the number of times a boy has made a lace/stick fishing poles in HOPES to catch a big one down at the creek.
9. After much hurt, trust takes time…glimpses of it are SWEET!
10. The "Honeymoon Period” was short and sweet. Despite the trials and testing children are scared, hurting, and LONGING for love and acceptance.
11. The sound of little boy giggles is DELIGHTFUL!!
12. It takes a village - Village, you know who you all are and we THANK YOU!!!
13. Being a parent is fun, scary, emotional, tough, exciting, humbling, fantastic, and EXHAUSTING…..good night friends and fellow villagers!