So, Spanx...well, let me start out with this...like my dad, I have terrible claustrophobia! Oh, and let me add a quick: sorry guys, but the struggle is real!
I was shopping for a Christmas party dress, and had a specific dress in mind. However, they only had one 👗 left and it was a size smaller than I typically wear. It fit, but it could fit better...
Enter spandex torture chamber.
Now this thing resembles a wrestling singlet only cut lower so you can wear your own bra. "Oooookay," I say eying it warily as Beaver stood there grinning, "I'll try it, but I hate this kinda stuff!"
Do I step in or pull over??
Quickly, I discover the "pull over" method was too constricting and invoked a panicky feeling while bent at waist with arms above my head trying to pull the stretchy tube of material, which is now compressing my face, down over my body....nope...ripped it off! Deep breath!
"Step In" it is!! Got it on, phew, that was way easier!! Trying to dismiss the fact that I resemble something that comes in a casing, I tried keeping an open mind; hey, I can breath and move, it's all good!
It was the taking off part where things got interesting! Trying to reverse the way I put it on was not working!! No matter how I contorted my arms and pulled on the tiny spaghetti straps, I could not get my arms out...stuck.... so far the panic is at bay and I'm thinking fairly rationally.
"I should just call Beaver...no...he'll never let me live it down."
Hhhmmmm, maybe you step in it but pull it off over your head?!!!
BAD IDEA!!
Still stuck and now the unreasonable, but real, panic feeling sets in and this thing is done for...pulling, clawing, yanking, and dancing around ensue....
When I finally wrenched free from that stomach sucker it flew through the air like a rubber band...my heart was pounding out of my chest!
"How are you doing, Hannah?" says the clerk. "Just fine, thank you!" I reply while catching my breath and pondering, 'Who comes up with these death traps?'
#VanityVanityAllIsVanity
