Strong in Christ

To my struggling friend...

Christmas Miracle?!?

We've been doing church at home until we can "keep ourselves together" at church. Thankfully, Ada has an amazing live feed! Tonight we actually went to church; anxieties and excitement were high! We did several (subtle) calming exercises throughout the service but for the most part did amazingly well! 

When we left one boy, with much pride and excitement, declared, "I was really good in there" 

We praised back "yes, you were. You should be so proud!" 

Happy reply: "I am, I was really good, I didn't even steal anything!" 

"Right on, nice job Bud!" (Both Hubby and I suppressing a giggle!) 

#babysteps

Healthcare Holiday...

The holidays are tough for so many...I see this over and over in the hospital. Tomorrow...well, today actually....Christmas Eve and I'll be talking to people about, among other things, end of life decisions...while most are gearing up for fun and family, others are dying. Although I'm practiced at handling emotions that well up....it weighs on me.

Yet I wouldn't trade it. I get to be the "Jesus with skin on" to people who are broken, hurting, sick, scared, confused, &/or lonely. The knowledge of that mission is strength and the knowledge that He is in control is peace! 

I pray again this season for the Lord to use me in the lives of others...to bring empathy, understanding, a smile, education, comfort, and His love. That He will speak through my actions the message I'm often not at liberty to verbalize. 

You say potato...

I found this beauty in our bag of potatoes! I call dibs on this baked potato! 

Who is your anchor?

Many of my friends/family members are struggling with life circumstance; jobs, marriage, children, families, health….. the list goes on and I am burdened for each of you and praying for many throughout the day.

There is this hope and help in the midst of life’s storm.  Hebrews 6:19-20 “This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast and one which enters within the veil. 20) where Jesus has entered as a forerunner for us, having become a high priest forever…” 

Webster’s dictionary states, “an anchor is a person or thing that provides strength and support.”  If your anchor is Jesus Christ then I have GOOD NEWS: your anchor holds!!  HE is holding you – although you may feel like a ship tossed to and fro – your anchor holds, your Heavenly Father is providing the strength and support that you need in this very moment…in all of your moments. 

Trust Him, even when life is hard, God is good - He can be trusted - YOUR ANCHOR HOLDS!!

 

 You are prayed for and loved!! 

"My Hope is Built on Nothing Less"

by Edward Mote, 1797-1874

 

1. My hope is built on nothing less

Than Jesus' blood and righteousness;

I dare not trust the sweetest frame,

But wholly lean on Jesus' name.

On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;

All other ground is sinking sand.

 

2. When darkness veils His lovely face,

I rest on His unchanging grace;

In every high and stormy gale

My anchor holds within the veil.

On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;

All other ground is sinking sand.

 

3. His oath, His covenant, and blood

Support me in the whelming flood;

When every earthly prop gives way,

He then is all my Hope and Stay.

On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;

All other ground is sinking sand.

 

4. When He shall come with trumpet sound,

Oh, may I then in Him be found,

Clothed in His righteousness alone,

Faultless to stand before the throne!

On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;

All other ground is sinking sand.

EBOLA: Panic vs Prepared

EBOLA: Panic vs Preparedness

I think it is natural to panic or be a little paranoid when we believe the government is hiding information or not providing complete information. For the general public I believe they needn’t panic but be informed and have an awareness.  For nurses (and others in healthcare), I think we need to be prepared.

Some have likened Ebola to smoking, obesity, and a few other poor behaviors people choose to engage in that are statistically known to lead to an unhealthy existence and premature death.  Such a silly comparison. Ebola is not a choice people are knowingly making.  I think I will run to Circle K, grab a pack of smokes, some candy, and lick the first feverish person I see (silly, right?!)!

For us in the USA we are lucky in that there have been only two cases contracted here, versus thousands in Africa. But two is two too many. Especially when they are fellow nurses. If you come into the Emergency Room, I know how to treat your heart attack, your stroke, your fracture; if you have whooping cough or meningitis, I sure know how to protect myself and others from these contagions. Until this week, I would not have known how to recognize, treat, or protect myself from your Ebola! 

Those nurses should have been prepared and the rest of us nurses will join to stand with them in the fight for information, for better preparation, and full disclosure. 

Panic?  No, none of the nurses I know are panicking but we are wanting to be prepared. We want to protect ourselves, our loved ones, and our patients...you! 

Prepared, not panicked!

A-maze-ing!!

Fun and easy project that'll keep kid's attention for hours! 

What you'll need:

Copy paper box top

Popsicle sticks

Paint

Hot glue gun and glue

A marker or pen

Small knife 

Marbles (if you haven't already lost yours!!) 

Start:

1) Have the kids paint the Popsicle sticks various color or whatever colors they want to. 

2) Mark out the maze with a marker or pen so you can be sure thearble will fit through the different areas.

3) Hot glue the sticks in place.

4) Cut a small hole in the side so the marble can escape from the maze! 

5) Play! 

**You may need to reinforce the sides of the box with tape depending on how rough your kiddo is on stuff! 

Red heart vs Dark heart

Red heart vs Dark heart

One of the boys was having a lot of testing Monday. One thing was an ultrasound (US). 

While the tech was performing the US "the child" kept asking if she could see his heart. She quickly showed him; we saw a dark blob with chambers pumping away, and then she got back to business. 

He was quiet for a little while then asked to see it again. 

"Can you do my heart? What color is my heart? Is it red? Is my heart red?" 

The tech said, yup see, it's right there showing him again. See the blood flowing? 

Child: But is it red?? 

Tech: yup

Child: but is it really red?

Tech: it's kind of a pink color. 

We started catching on that there was some anxiety about the color. And of course an US is in black and white. He was confused and getting anxious. So she turned on the color so he could see the blood flow to and front the heart, red and blue. "See there, red!" 

Child: (quietly to himself) phew, it's red, I'm a good guy. Then he looked again to be sure. 

Me: Yes, look at that, it's really red, you have a very good heart, I knew it! And I squeezed his shoulder to reassure him, he still looked dubious and off in his own world for a few minutes while he thought it through. 

B and I sat there in awe of his thought process. Can you imagine wondering if your heart were good or bad? Scared that maybe you are not a "good guy?" That maybe you aren't worth loving or keeping! Man, somedays this parenting stuff is heavy! 

Tough morning conversations...

Parent: Whatcha thinking about?

Child: My old family and if they would want me back. But I know I have you for my family. (Quickly added, maybe to spare our feeling? But we get it!! It sucks!!)

P: Do you think they would? 

C: No.

P: I'm sure that's hard. Remember when we talked about how they just didn't have the ability to care for you the way you needed and that's something we are all working on together?

C: Yup. (Pause) They dropped me off somewhere and just drove away. So, then they gave me to another family, then another family and then another family then I got you guys and your my family now. 

P: Yup (sometimes it's hard to get much more than that past the lump in your throat)!

God help Him see you in all of this someday! Wrap your arms around this hurting soul!

JUSTICE...Luke 18

Laying here in bed thinking about the parable in Luke, it's so powerful! It is like reassurance to me soul. 

As we walk this adoption journey we've hit some tremendous challenges. Yet, despite the misinformation, empty promises for help/resources, and continual barriers/hoops placed before us we continue to seek JUSTICE! 

The "Unjust Judge" relented to the Widow because she, basically, was a squeaky wheel! So, we are pressing forward with our requests for JUSTICE for our boys. Everyday we make calls, write emails, fill out more  forms, and go to meetings pleading our case, asking for help, requesting JUSTICE!! We may at times grow weary or afraid, but we persist! 

Claiming the promise that God will honor the persistent cry of our hearts and soon send JUSTICE!!

Luke 18 

The Parable of the Unjust Judge

1 And he told them a parable to show that they must always pray and not be discouraged, 2 saying, “There was a certain judge in a certain town who did not fear God and did not respect people. 3 And there was a widow in that town, and she kept coming to him, saying, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary!’ 4 And he was not willing for a time, but after these things he said to himself, ‘Even if I do not fear God or respect people, 

5 yet because this widow is causing trouble for me, I will grant her justice, so that she does not wear me down in the end by her coming back!’” 

6 And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unrighteous judge is saying! 7 And will not God surely see to it that justice is done to his chosen ones who cry out to him day and night, and will he delay toward them? 8 I tell you that he will see to it that justice is done for them soon! Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, then will he find faith on earth?”

Matthew 10:29-31

"29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. 30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."

Today I found a recipe box at a garage sale for 50 cents - whoot whoot, bargain!! I brought it home, painted it and put Mt 10:29-31 on it. 

I also purchased some 3x5 cards and have started placing the names of family and friends on each card.  I also have names of missionaries and people we only know through hearing of them and learning that they need prayer for various concerns/situations they are going through. 

At each meal our family will choose a few cards from the front of stack and pray for those individuals specifically then place those cards in the back. This way throughout the day and the week we can be interceding for the needs of others, while we teach the boys about prayer and caring for the concerns of others.

Mt. 10 29-31 talks about how we are all very important to the Lord.  It doesn’t matter how small or insignificant our needs seem to us, God knows, God cares, and He wants to hear from us. You are very important to us too and we want to be able to kneel before throne on your behalf. If you would like to be on a card in our prayer box, please message me and let me know. Who knows I may already have a card started for you, friend!

Celebrating week one!

Wanted to bring you an update.  It has been one week!!  Wow, so hard to believe it’s only been a week. We certainly are feeling like new parents....we are in awe of these gifts with which we have been entrusted and we are exhausted!! :)

On Facebook (FB), you may have seen the highlights of our times times together so far!! From visits to the library, to time with friends and family, swimming, jet skis, and more.  We are so excited to be able to share them, it helps us feel connect to our friends and family all over the states and overseas. Thanks you for following along on our journey and for your prayers, keep ‘em coming!

I want to be transparent.  On FB we see all the wonderful shining moments and can lose sight of the reality of the situation we are in.  While yes it is wonderful we are also dealing with two broken boys who have been at the mercy of a broken system for several years.  It is hard. It is exhausting. It tries our patience. Honestly, it is also quite overwhelming at times. We are learning so much!! We have to be so consistent, this alone is daunting, as many parents know, it takes team work. We have been learning each other’s areas of strengths and weakness and when to come alongside the other to take over or give the other time to take a shower or just to go potty in peace. Seriously!! :)  

Sorry this is long you can skim it, but I wanted to journal it for myself as well as to share.  Since I have felt so overwhelmed I thought I would journal about how much we have to CELEBRATE!!!

Celebrating these young open hearts: There are many amazing moments that just melt your heart.  They are opening up, they are sharing their hurts and we are able to guide them through, pointing them to Christ and towards the many people in their “village” who love them and are praying for all of us. They are also at times lashing out and do not even understand why. We are privileged to helping them through this time. They understand the rules and boundaries we are setting are to help them grow into good men who love and respect their Lord as well as other people. The case workers thought it would take months to a year to get to this point where they are trusting us.  

Celebrating friends: Our friends have been tremendously understanding. The boys are very outspoken and socially awkward. But they have goals to make friends and they are trying hard to do so. It takes time, and understanding and learning from natural consequences. For example, growling in someone’s face does not a friend make. It’s awesome that you can make that tremendous noise, but not so awesome to the kid you just freaked out! They have also been understanding that the boys need to look to us as providers and learn to trust that we will meet their needs.  Some day the boys will know of all those who blessed us with gifts but for now they just need to know they have no needs, they are safe, and people love them.  Thanks friends!!

Celebrating “the blessing” we were given as children: This blessing of unconditional love and acceptance has been absent for them. So, there is a constant need to know that we are here, we are not leaving, they are loved. There are constant, “I love you’s,” hugs, kisses, and times when they ask to be held and/or rocked.  

Celebrating progress: There are many areas we anticipate to see progress in as we go for now a big one is the bedtime process. Bedtime routine is down from 3 hours to about 1 hour and we have figured out pretty good process of reassurance yet boundaries as time goes on we anticipate this will improve even more.

Celebrating their past: the boys have soft hearts they really care for others and especially for animals. They have a foundation of knowing the Jesus story and understanding who He is and what He has done.

Celebrating humorous moments: There are moments that just crack us up. For example, last night at dinner when one was praying it went like this:

“Dear Lord, we thank you Lord, for this day Lord and for this dinner Lord. Lord please be with my brother help him to be calm and have a good night Lord and have fun with his rock crystal kit. Lord help me to get past the Pokemon level that I am struggling with Lord, and Lord (INSERT me busting up laughing....I tried keeping it in, but it just cracked me up and I couldn't help it...perhaps at some level it is due to the exhaustion...anyway, that took some explaining that I just thought it was cute and then we were back to the prayer) and so Lord be with us and give us a good night Lord, Amen. Father, Son, Holy Spirit”

Then just a few minutes ago the other one came downstairs completely covered in duct tape...not sure where he found it but he made himself a costume. A costume that, to his surprise, was painful to remove especially from the eyebrows and lips and hair.  Oh my goodness, I thought he was going to suffocate himself under all that tape. 

Celebrating moments to learn and educate: There are also moments of miscommunication:  Due to the nature of autism as well as the lack of toys and things growing up, one of the behaviors we work with is collecting things. Often wrappers on the ground, various brochures or business cards they find or little stones etc...buckets of this were tossed before they came to live with us. To help curb this in our home Beaver gave each boy a small basket for their treasures and explained that when the basket is full they have to be done or throw the things away before collecting more.  Both boys solemnly accepted the baskets but never said a word. We soon learned that somewhere something was lost in translation. The baskets were soon brimming with legos, swim shoes, remote control car, etc... They had thought the only toys they were allowed to keep had to fit in the baskets.  Ooops! I think they were quite relieved to have that miscommunication cleared up!!

They are learning to cook and measure ingredients, how to look at prices,  shop for, and clean and chop fruits and vegetables. They are learning about opera, history, art, and more...it’s so fun - they are like sponges..most of the time!! :) 

Celebrating A: This is one smart kid! He is learning to be more open-minded and accepting.  He is searching for where he fits into the world and the family. He is such a good helper.  On projects he can really take his time to get them done right and is a problem solver. He craves attention, acknowledgment, and love.

Celebrating D: What a loving little boy.  Quite insecure and needing constant reassurance, love, guidance, and redirection.  He is giving and caring, he is often alone as too much action overwhelms him easily.  He loves God and listens diligently in church even when it looks like he isn’t. He is busy 99.9% of the time! 

Celebrating Family: We are all learning together how to be a family and work through hurts, learn to have a sense of humor (important for any child of ours!! Lol!!), learn that there will always be food and plenty of it, learning that families share, that just because we all may make poor choices at times, we still love each other and we are still a family.

Celebrating God’s continued good work: Please continue to pray for us although this is tough,  we have absolutely ZERO regrets and we have no second thoughts.  We know God placed these two boys in our lives and we are so very blessed!!

Celebrating YOU: thank you for your love and support. For those who listen without judgement and for those who give us advice, we know you have been there and we are taking bits and pieces from each one and it is shaping us as parents and partners in crime!! :)

Celebrating our Lord: because He is in all of this and goes before us preparing the way....phew!!! :)

Funny bone

Out for ice cream tonight in a town far far away...I saw this sign and it cracked me up; I had to snap a pic! Chalk it up to an exhausted new mom?!?!!! But I'm still giggling! 

Silk flowers

Some of my latest flowers with antique buttons, vintage jewelry, or shoes clips used in the center. (Step by step directions are listed in another blog post on 9-12-11 & 9-21-11) 

Umbrella Snack!

Fun summery treat for kids (and adults!!!)!!! 

Graham crackers

Fruit Rollup

Teddy graham

And of course the best part...the umbrella!

Rise and shine and give God the Glory

All choked up reading through so many Facebook tributes to fathers! Those who have never known their earthly fathers, those who have lost their, those who admire theirs, as well as wives tributes to the fathers of their children...so touching especially when I think of those who struggle with this day for one reason or another. We saw it in our boys today as they struggle to make sense of the hurt and loss they have known. 

Whatever the reason for the loss, our Heavenly Father loves you, He knows your heartaches and anger and fear, and He loves you, you can trust him. 

I prayed that God comfort, strengthen, and heal them. We've all been dealt cards we might not like, the challenge and responsibility is in accepting our cards,  playing them out, and choosing to rise above! 

Rise and shine and Give God the Glory

Grama's Ring

When I was a little girl I was fascinated with my Grama’s hands.  I thought they were so pretty and I loved to play with the prominent veins the stood out on the tops of her small soft hands (I guess that could have been one of the first clues that I would become a nurse someday!).  I loved her fingernails always long, strong, and polished in pearly or pale pink, I would place them over my short nails and hope some day mine would be as nice. I loved her rings and would always spin them around on her fingers and sometimes try them on, when she could get them over her arthritic knuckles. She would always say, "someday this one will be yours", her birthstone ring, a dark blue teardrop sapphire set in gold and flanked by two small diamonds. I knew what that “someday” meant and I was in no hurry for the ring to be mine. 

I was always scared of her passing on, afraid I would be without her. Sometimes I would figure out how old she was now and how old I was and think okay, well if she lives to be this age I will be that age and maybe then I would be able handle her passing, but then I would try to make her older and older so I would haver her longer. I prayed she wouldn’t ever go. 

Today I got her ring.

As I held the ring my hand my mind flashed back to her soft, pink, hands that held me, soothed me, taught me, cooked for me, sewed for me, and cared for me. I could see it on her finger, remember how she would twirl it around, and how she would hold it and tell me it would be mine "someday." I will never forget those hands. 

I cried.  

About two months ago she passed, 95 and me 40. God had prepared both of us, it was hard, but it was okay.

Earlier this evening I had time to look at it closer, it only fits my pinky. I took it off and held it and turned it over to look at it, it needs to be gently cleaned, there is a bit of powder built up. She loved powder (I do too). Then I thought, maybe it is flour from the many times she loving baked for us? Strange as it sounds I could not bear to clean it....it’s almost a last bit of her.  

Today is “someday”, and the ring is mine.

I will clean it.

But, I will clean it tomorrow.

Or maybe the day after that.

I love you my Gram! 

Thank you for the ring, thank you more for your love .

A Baker's Dozen of Important Lessons Learned this Week

1. When it has been raining, check the playground slide before allowing the child to slide down…unless it’s a lot warmer and he’s not wearing jeans. We all got a good LAUGH out of this one.
2. Being “Soccer Parents” means you SECRETLY hope children on the other team fail, and you want to smack the "parental sideline coaches…hard!”
3. Make everyone pee before leaving home….having to pee is a very CONVENIENT excuse to make pit stops in order to beg for pop and candy.
4. Find BORING pit stops (see number 3)
5. Kid hugs are AWESOME!
6. When a 9 year old boy runs around to open your car door, your heart MELTS!
7. If you torment the goose enough, it will eventually CHASE you, If you scream, run, and throw your back pack at said goose, it will snatch it up and take it to the middle of the pond and drop it in!
8. Four shoes without laces equals the number of times a boy has made a lace/stick fishing poles in HOPES to catch a big one down at the creek.
9. After much hurt, trust takes time…glimpses of it are SWEET!
10. The "Honeymoon Period” was short and sweet. Despite the trials and testing children are scared, hurting, and LONGING for love and acceptance.
11. The sound of little boy giggles is DELIGHTFUL!!
12. It takes a village - Village, you know who you all are and we THANK YOU!!!
13. Being a parent is fun, scary, emotional, tough, exciting, humbling, fantastic, and EXHAUSTING…..good night friends and fellow villagers! 

Casting cares...

Please pray with us!

(Last week) We need prayers! We just learned, last evening, that the adoption agency had done nothing with our paperwork to get the kids in June! They started it today and it can take several weeks to complete, we just want to cry! We are so disappointed in their poor handling of this whole situation! The most disappointing thing is the delay two little boys who need to be home where we can start being a family, and we can provide love and consistency for them. 

We have done all we can do and it seems we are helplessly at their mercy, it is frustrating. Then, I remember we are NOT powerless!! We have the power of Christ through prayer and belief that He can and will be faithful to complete that which He has begun! 

We have seen His faithfulness over and over throughout this process.   

Please pray with us toward June 15th, that the paperwork and approval will be completed.

We thank you, friends and family for supporting us through this land of the unknown.

Thank you, Thank you! 

H&B

PS: Since this is a public blog, we will not be sharing names or photos of the kids here. :)

(Today) Well, we learned that since they didn't start it yet, the needed paperwork to get the boys will not be started until after May 1st due to new process starting. This oversight has the potential to set us back another month...still praying towards our original date, June 15th!! 

Discipline

Gifts aren't always things, but moments God grants us!

One of my favorite pictures of Gram and I. I had just helped her eat dinner, spaghetti. She didn't really know me and I so wanted her to. I had just flown in and was weary and sad, I sat on the bed and laid my head on her like I used to and said " Love you so much Gram!" She put her hand in my face and said, "I love you too, Honey!" Deep down, she knew me! I'm so glad my mom got this precious picture! 

Stop to smell the roses

Flowers I made this weekend! 

70x7

I was taught a wise lesson by a 6 year old today! When we asked him what he learned in Sunday school he said he learned about not getting even with people. I said, "oh because we can trust God to take of them for us?"  He said, "No, we just need to forgive them."

Forgiveness is something I am struggling with tonight and I can see how the Lord was preparing my heart for it earlier, through a 6 year old, AWESOME!! It reminds me of this verse I learned years ago,  "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity." 1 Timothy 4: 12

My gram!

Dear Jesus, 

Thank you for giving me such a dear sweet and godly Grama. I loved her so much and I am so happy to know she is there with you tonight.  Thank you for taking her HOME where is finally well and free. I know she is happy to be with you, her love and trust in your was so evident throughout her life.

I am so grateful she was mine, My Gram! Hug her for me, let her know I wish I could have said goodbye but that I look forward to seeing her again someday. 

With a sad but peaceful heart, Gram's girl!

That will be Glory

1. When all my labors and trials are o’er,

And I am safe on that beautiful shore,

Just to be near the dear Lord I adore

Will thro’ the ages be glory for me.

Chorus:

O that will be glory for me

Glory for me,

Glory for me;

When by His grace I shall look on His face,

That will be glory,

Be glory for me.

2. When by the gift of His infinite grace,

I am accorded in heaven a place,

Just to be there and to look on His face,

Will thro’ the ages be glory for me.

3. Friends will be there I have loved long ago;

Joy like a river around me will flow;

Yet, just a smile from my Savior, I know,

Will thro’ the ages be glory for me.

Branding

Two weeks from today!

Two weeks from today I get to meet my boys for the first time. I get asked two questions, 1) are you excited? 2) are you nervous?. The answer to each questions is YES and NO.  I tried to analyze my feelings today.  

Yes! I am super excited, it all seems so surreal and I just want to see them, to know that they know we want them in our lives forever!!!  

No. I feel some reservation. What holds me back from being over the moon, jump up and down excited?  Other than that type of demonstration is not typically for me, I am scared.  I keep waiting for the something to fall through.  This has been a long grueling process and I am fearful of further heartbreak.

How do I deal with that?  Trust.  Trust in a God who wants the best for these boys and loves them even more that I even will and trust in that same God who loves me more than I can imagine and will carry me through the heartbreak should that be in the plan. 

Am I nervous?

Yes, I am a little nervous when I stop to think about how I want to grab them up in a big hug or I fear I might just cry - those things make me nervous.  These are 9 and 11 year old boys - hugs might now be cool, especially from a stranger! :)  

No. My first thought about meeting them is not a nervous thought or feeling. I do not worry about them liking me - I mean WHO COULD RESIST, LOL!!  Just teasing!!  But seriously, I don’t feel concerned that they will reject us, they need and want parents and we are going to be FUN ones to have!  Although there will be rules and boundaries, I just think they will find freedom, love, and acceptance with us that they long for and need.  Will they maybe know that right away?  No! I am expecting that they will need to learn trust in us and it might be a slow painful process.

How do I deal with that? Trust.  Trust in the God who is father to the fatherless, the One who strengthen us as new parents, who will bring people into our lives to encourage, inspire, and teach us when we struggle or become discouraged. I trust He will use us to speak truth into these precious lives and that some day they will know and understand our love for them and feel secure enough to love back!

Tonight I made their picture my background picture on my laptop. I makes me smile, then it overwhelmes me with emotion and I feel my throat tighten, my nose burn, and my eyes fill with tears.  Hello sons, how amazing it feels to think I will be your mom!  I love you already and two weeks seems so far away!

Divinely ours!

Exciting adoption news!!!

Guess what we did today? We made a scrapbook! 

This past Wednesday we had our Full Disclosure meeting for the adoption.  This means the adoptive family meets with all those who are involved with the care of the child(ren) they are seriously considering to adopt, including the current foster parents. 

In this meeting we felt so informed. We were able to ask a lot of questions and we learned more about the kids from people that actually know and care for them, it was very cool!

We were so excited to meet everyone. We were so happy meet a current foster family and learn that they are Christians. We could tell that they were really providing a nurturing, caring environment that is so needed. Praise the Lord!!

We also met the therapists, one of which is a sister of one of my best buddies here, another praise!!  We are so excited to see God’s hand leading us through this journey.  There certainly have been some deep disappointments and hurts, but even in the heartache and frustration we knew God had a plan. 

Friends, we are so delighted to tell you that tonight we signed the Intent to Adopt form for two boys aged 9 and 11.  So, today we worked on a special project, a scrapbook that the foster care worker will present to the boys this week to introduce us to them for the first time, to ease them into the transition.  We will be able to meet them soon!!  I anticipate that this will be time of excitement and nervousness, and it will be so thrilling to finally meet them!

We know it's natural to have lots of question and we will share what we can and what we are comfortable with sharing.  We thank you, in advance, for understanding if we do not share certain bits of information; as we advocate for the boys’ safety and privacy there are many details that we will not be sharing now, if ever.  For now, we will not be disclosing their names or location (other than that they are from here in Michigan). We can't wait to share that information as soon as possible though!!! :) 

What an exciting time in our lives and we are thrilled to share this process with you!! We truly are so blessed to have many friends and family praying and/or sending encouraging thoughts on our behalf throughout this process. We so appreciate the many caring and encouraging words along the way.  

It might seem strange, I have not even met them yet but I feel like they are already mine. I can’t wait to be their MOM!!!  I sat in the meeting with tears running down my cheeks holding back the gulping sobs that were threatening to present themselves. I ached for what they have known and seen and heard, I want to absorb any hurt and rejection for them. I want them to know we are in this for the long haul, I want to say, "it's okay, you can trust us" and I want to help point them to the ONE who loves them most of all and can ALWAYS be trusted!

I overheard the foster mother talking about needing to find a different pair of winter boots for...she named the child. I was sitting across the lobby and I was thinking to myself, I want to get the boots, that should be my job! Soon. 

For now, I wait and pray for the Lord to prepare our four hearts that will soon be coming together to form a family.

I wish I could be a fly on the wall when they tell them about us and see the scrapbook for the first time. What will they think? How will they feel? What questions will they have? What are their fears? What are their dreams? In time...

I just want to love those little kiddos....I already do!

An exerpt from one of my favorite children’s books, I know it by heart! The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

"I suppose you are real?" said the Rabbit. And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sensitive.

But the Skin Horse only smiled.

Sunday Funday!!

I don't get too many days like today, when I don't have schoolwork! So I made the most of it! 

Got up "early" made German Oven Pankcakes. Then I started on lunch by making homemade pita bread. 

 Then church, our pastor, Jeff Manion is amazing! http://www.adabible.org

After church I baked Oatmeal, Chocolate chip, Walnut, and Cranberry cookies. Crisp edges and chewy centers, delish!!

After that I worked in adoption paperwork, while nibbling a few cookies! 

For lunch I made tuna salad to go in the pitas and Parmesan crusted asparagus!

Now, I have a clean canvas in my studio calling my name... I have to take advantage of these school free days!!

I start my doctorate in one week and could possibly be meeting the children this week as well! Exciting times, and much to be thankful for! 

MSN, BSN, BS, RN!!!

Finished my Master's degree today!! Whoot whoot!!! Now, on to my doctorate! I start in 10 days! 

Hurt

I wonder how some people were raised that enables them to lie and hurt others that they supposedly love? I don't understand it but I sure as hell won't put up with it in my life. Life is too short to allow fake people with their own selfish agendas into my life no matter who they are. There is no blood thick enough for that's bs! 

I wonder if when I am over being angry if I will feel bad about these feelings and let it go? The problem is, it didn't hurt ME, it hurt someone I love and that is a whole other level of pissed off!  DNA doesn't matter it's the people who stand by you, unwavering, thoughtful, kind, faithful and honest...those are your true family! 

Praying for God to lead me through the anger and hurt into a place of forgiveness and peace, and wisdom to create distance! 

Acknowledging that God brings justice, help me forgive.  

Adoption Update!

Hey friends, many have asked, so we want to bring you an update on our adoption process.  As some of you know, we have had heavy hearts over the past two weeks due to a tough decision that we had to make and some frustrations with the agency. 

Well, today we were given great news, full disclosure paperwork on two boys we have been interested in! We have a lot of reading to do as we prepare for a big meeting next week and an even bigger decision soon thereafter. Not the best timing with my school wrapping up, but that is how it works sometimes....reminds us of WHO we need to rely on through all of this! 

This is getting pretty exciting, we even went to the School of Choice open house to start getting an idea of what the options are out there. It was pretty strange to be there and at first I felt really out of place.  The people there said, “how old are your students?” So strange to think “we have students”...or will soon!  Then we got talking to people and it just seemed...right! we learned so much about the programs and especially for this homeschooled girl, it was really cool!

We will keep you updated as we go - thanks again for your interest, thoughts, best wishes and prayers!

                                  

No Fear

                           

God made us in His image and loved us so much he wanted us to have a free will, freedom to make decisions and be who we want to be. Yet, with that freedom came the ability to choose to wrong things (sin).  There are consequences for sin, and that is death.

Despite our affinity to make poor choices and to sin, God loved us so much He made a way of escape from this consequence...He paid our consequence. He loved us so much that He stretched out His arms and died For Us! Wow! Our Creator saw that by allowing us freedom to make choices That we would also need a Saviour. 

Therefore, He gave His life so that we, as sinners, could have a way to have our wrong choices forgiven! He died, He, who never sinned, lovingly took on ability to pay for our sins. 

Now the choice is up to us. Choose God or choose Death.

But everyone dies!?! Yes, our earthly bodies die, they rot and decay...but our souls live forever! That is the beauty in how we were created! 

The choice therefore is to follow the Creator and Saviour and choose life or turn our backs on Him and choose the path of death.

When we choose life through Christ Jesus, it doesn't mean our lives will be perfect. He doesn't promise an easy road. We will still make poor choices and others will make poor choices that affect us too. However, He is there through it all, He promises to strengthen us, and give is peace and refuge.

 

The verse alone shows that we will need strength in life's challenging moments and we will need a place of refuge from the storms that come into our lives.  Life is not always easy, but God is ALWAYS there, He will cover you with His feathers and you can find shelter in Him! (Psalm 91:4)

He is:

There need be no fear because we know that God is on our side! No one can truly harm us.

                          

We can have NO FEAR but we do need FAITH! 

40th Open House

My husband threw an open house for my 40th birthday! It was fun! My favorite color is pink and though it's a bit cliche we did pink and black!! ;) he bought long stem pink roses and placed them in wine bottles throughout the house. (Above is a pic from after the party when he gathered some of them together). 

We had wine, fruit, cheese, olives, and fabulously delicious cupcakes made by my amazing friend and her husband (raspberry filled with champagne frosting, chocolate raspberry with chocolate ganache, and to humor me, funfetti with funfetti frosting and roses)!

Best of all I was surrounded by family and friends, making the night very special!! 

We made party favors with my favorite candles from Wealthy at Charles and a Pay-it-Forward card! What could be better a better 40th present than having others being a light of love and peace in the world!!